I think you reach a point where you no longer have to prove anything to anyone. If you no longer need an audience, then why hang out with them?
Look at the people who surround themselves with an entourage, how insecure are they?
i think it’s really simple… we don’t gather in order to accomplish things together… not in the real world, solving real problems… men become friends when they solve problems and build things together… think barn building among the Amish… and we basically can only drop the competitive thing if we’re trying to work together, but then we get right to work… and that’s our normal socialization… when we see one another, we immediately like to reminisce about something we fixed or conquered together… back in my grandfather’s day, they spent free time at the men’s social club, to brag about exactly that and drink and play cards all evening… we haven’t figured out how to replace that stuff… so we’re all just adversaries all the time, learning how to get better at combat and shit…
Try finding a public boardgame night instead of a gentleman’s club - both the library and the game store have them here.
right, games are the current substitute… many men aren’t interested in games, because there’s nothing real about them, and i don’t think it really suffices as a substitute in general…
I had the distinct misfortune of being a loner for my formative years. As I’ve aged, I never hit my stride or found my niche. I have plenty of hobbies and things I enjoy, but no place to share them… even if I find a convention or rare place to explore them with others, they are often filled with people who already found their people and aren’t seeking any new applicants. Or, more likely, these places are far from where I am.
It then returns the burden to me. Do I keep my job and pay and current possessions… or do I sell all of it and move closer to the places I can find others? No, not even that: give up stability and security for the chance to find places to find others. Not even guaranteedz
even if I find a convention or rare place to explore them with others, they are often filled with people who already found their people and aren’t seeking any new applicants
Any group like that doesn’t deserve your awesomeness my fellow person ✊.
You know it’s hard to believe those kinds of words. But I appreciate it all the same. ^^
Sometimes I travel a long way to put myself in a situation I think will may result in meeting like minded people and then when I get there I do nothing but look around a bit and then go home.
It happens so often! You break out of the comfort zone and spend resources and energy to make the effort, only to have nothing to show for it. Coming away with something (or someone!) is never the intended goal, but you’d feel better if you did, right?
