He likes mirrors a lot too.

I’d let the boebs do that to me she’s a gilf.

Goddamn they’re both hot as fuck.

If god is Jewish what did he use to circumcise himself?

As far as I know holes in the sand kill more people annually than sharks.

My greatest pain in life is that I’ll never be able to text myself.

I only shop Amazon and Walmart I hate small businesses Nazis bro.

Wait why would I jack a coat if I already have a condom on?

Yes.

Being or speaking French is the worse.

What’s wrong with drinking and ordering the fbi plane to fly you and twenty best friends on a world wide bender?

School is socialization for kids.

Homeschooling doesn’t give you that.

Drugs.

She’s beautiful.

She smells like sauerkraut, has a thin coating of cat hair and hums Carolyn Willis songs.

I’d like to see proof of pug or Jesus.

Yeah bro has standards.

Trump’s strength is that he dominates the headlines letting all the other assholes usher in fascism.

“As President, Zaphod’s role was designed to be a figurehead that wielded no real power, despite appearing to be in charge. His primary responsibility was to be flashy, controversial, and outrageous, thereby focusing public attention on himself rather than the unseen forces actually running the universe.”

• Douglas Adams

Jack what?

It’s my opinion that anything that slows down this administration will save lives so getting in more democrats in the house and senate is the most important thing we can do right now.

I vote the best possible person in primaries and the best person with a chance of winning in generals which rules out third parties for me.

Semen isn’t gravity fed so I don’t think the lack of it would make a difference.

That’s when you eat your cum so you don’t have to clean up right?