I’m totally a club guy, but I’ve never had the extra bread. I would take it out! I don’t want any more bread than the absolute minimum necessary for me to hold the thing and cram it into my angry chew hole.

this one cafe I used to get them at regularly would toast them for me in a panini maker, smashing them even further. that was my gold standard.

i got a line on some 100% vidalia that will put you off your face. right off the fuckin’ truck.

when I left my fun (but shit pay/no healthcare) outdoor physical labor job, I had to condition myself to a completely new set of phrases some might construe as “professional”. I knew a guy who would respond to clusterfucks with a monotone “incredible” but if something was really indefensibly insane he would just say, flatly, “interesting”. outside of work, he was much more expressive, but it can be a kind of amusing game to see how much of a flat affect and reserved demeanor one can maintain during the reveal of surreal corruption and incompetence. like who can keep a calm exterior going and trying to get others who recognize the absurdity to laugh first.

makes me think of some scene from Ozark where Marty (the master of this) responds to some batshit admission with just the word “dynamite” in complete monotone.

for sure. absolutely the gold standard, and moving through my angsty teen years, watching him deliver banger after banger and become my favorite segment in a time of a lot of solid SNL talent… only to be fired by the Great Powers of industry was a massive lesson in the subservience of mass media to executives: it doesn’t matter how much mass appeal and critical acclaim you deliver in the arts, if the really rich don’t want to hear it, you will be gone.

one of my favorite clips of norm is a Conan interview where he sticks around for the interview with Cortney Thorne Smith to promote a carrot top movie. norm is hysterical and completely fucks up the segment but it’s so funny nobody can get pissed at him, because they are laughing too hard.

what a limited imagining of a robotic sex partner. not one of them is a shrieking metallic skull on the thorax+abdomen of a 700 lb scorpion with a tail that injects an adrenaline and DMT mix.

which is what we all want to come home to, am I right fellas?

once they automate making homophobic jokes and farting in bed, cishet men are RUINED. men will wish they stayed grinding that WoW gold.

I am pretty sure I’ve had them and I don’t recall finding them objectionable, but I am also pretty sure there were other greens and whatnot in the mix. most greens are good if they’re made tender through heat and vinegar/fat and are hooked up in some way with some savory something and maybe a little crunchy or salty in there.

looks like beet greens / beet tops. I’ve heard they’re edible.

they really could do a totinos index to measure CPI, because those joints have got to be the pacecar of the industrial food system. I remember when they went above $1.25 I was like “oh shit, the world is ending.”

lol totinos were my go to in my early 20s, but I think they changed out the flour or something around the time they went square into like 45% plaster and 12% sugar salt because if I have one it will sit in my gut like a brick and I will fall asleep sitting up.

they used to be like 90 cents tho, lol. perfect example of a food saving you money up front, but costing you big in medical bills.

scheduled diarrhea aka Golden Corral.

when I was a kid, I would find these books with illustrations like this, kinda isometric, accurate-to-scale and authentic to understanding of archeological record etc and they were just so damn captivating.

and they still are. the illustrators who put things together like this blow me away. they make ancient and speculated worlds come alive.

lmao, I so hope we get a translation.

I mean, I would try it but I expect it’s gonna end up as a xylitol / gas pain / emergency diarrhea situation.

I generally only drink water and like maybe green or sleepy tea with lemon juice in it. but for about an hour each day, I can have as much diet soda or one of those like seltzer drinks as I want. [I quit refined sugar, wine/booze/beer and nicotine, so this is my last vice.] usually it’s like maybe 12 oz, but I was at a party recently and had like 3. I was fucked up on that diet soda ride.

my taste buds are very reactive now to sweet flavors, so imagine this would taste crazy sweet.

that looks and sounds a lot like a Turkish dish called menemen. in looking it up, it seems to have cousin dishes going by different names around the Arab / former Ottoman world.

it is so effing good. genius pairing of tomatoes & other fresh summer veg, spices, and protein. add some bread to scoop, and it’s one of those single dish miracles that can be done on a campfire/cook stove.

I think one of the reasons “ketchup on eggs” is even a thing with some people, is like the cultural memory of a complex tomato sauce and eggs. like it is the weak descendant.

he lost me at “not like a primate”.

I am a man of traditional values.
RETVRN TO MONKE

unironically my favorite genre of content 👍😎👍

a steak as a concept is meant to be a section of meat from a non-locomotive muscle (fewer fibers = more tender) that is roughly proportional to what someone hungry would eat in a single sitting. tougher muscle groups require longer cook times at lower temperatures (like several hours, sometimes after an overnight soak in a brine to accelerate the breakdown of tougher fibers/tissues) or other processing (ground meat is basically mechanically pre-chewed so you can bite through it). that pre-chewing creates a food safety issue, because it much of the cut has been exposed to the air, so “undercooked” hamburger (red in the middle) can have pathogens introduced during the grinding process from exposure to the ambient air and unsanitized surfaces.

so a traditional steak cut is a cut that can be seared on its outer surface but safely cooked only minimally, preventing it from drying out or becoming too tough. i.e. it can be prepared to the eater’s desired texture and tastes easily and safely, which generally means it can be bitten through. there is a whole field of muscle biology dedicated to meat and objective measures of tenderness (sheer force test).

personally, i think steaks are kinda bullshit and something affluent people, especially affected-masculine types use to try and stunt on each other. “let’s go get steaks” “ill grill us some steaks” “i grill a mean steak”. as though it’s hard to put a few cuts of meat on a grill for a few minutes on either side and take it off. a no frills hamburger requires more effort and attention to do well, and people make fun of burger flippers as lacking skill.

even within the world of flesh eating, steaks represent the most disengaged eater who wants a meal made from the easiest to prepare and easiest to consume cuts of an animal, which represents a very small minority by weight of the meat of any animal. because everything is so easy, steak cuts command the highest per pound price. and frankly, a steak as a meal is just a big hunk of meat and some garnish. like a child making a sundae that is 95% hot fudge with a little smear of ice cream. there’s way too little plant fiber in that meal to be reasonable for anyone’s digestion, so it’s a decadent “celebratory” type of meal, i suppose. but it’s wasteful and pricey, imo.

to understand how to prepare less expensive/desired, common ingredients to feed, comfort and delight many people takes real skill and talent. steaks are the opposite of that.

before weed was legal, it wasn’t even labeled to let you know it would make you gay.