“Son, a good woman is like a deep-fried chimpanzee: rare, surprising, and certainly not what you expected, but somehow, she keeps you coming back for more.”

The reason you are having trouble with this is your taking it as a metaphor, but in fact it is cooking advice, Makes a lot more sense now doesn’t it?

Batter the fuck out of them first?

I hate every woman I see, from woman-A to… what again?

Anyway I’m a misogymnast mysogingo I hate deep fried monkeys women.

Deep Fried Chimpanzees would be a good gorillaz parody band

Explaines easily by examining what is really in his pipe

He better be explaining this one seeing as it’s a simile