• HalfSalesman@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      4 hours ago

      Talking to people doesn’t make me a better person. It makes me mask and feel further alienation. (Though yes, being completely alone is awful so I still socialize.)

      And I can’t talk to a therapist for many many reasons.

      • Soup@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        4 hours ago

        The first day at the gym is the hardest, but without any other context I will take your word for it. For most people, though, that is the way.

        For me, I’m pretty ADHD with definitely some other shit mixed in and I’ve just come to accept that many people are not worth it. That said, so many people are and it just takes finding them. I was lucky to not get traumatized into masking as a child, though, and while it makes working with emotionally bankrupt engineers tricky I can at least survive out in the world in the context of making friends.

        I’m curious what a “personality gym” would do for you, as you brought it up. At some point you’d be aiming to take those skills outside, right, so would it be in preparation for the going out and talking to people part? Or would you like to have a personality in isolation and at that point why the gym?

        • HalfSalesman@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          3 hours ago

          I suppose I’d like to have the happy carefree loving energy that people naturally gravitate towards and it to be earnest (rather than it being a mask or something). I’d want to be a normie.

          Even more I wish to basically be a himbo. People love himbos. But I’d have to become dumber, less judgemental, and more confident in myself. Someone who believes in astrology/spirituality because everyone else around them believes in it. Someone who’s not anxious about politics all the fucking time.

          Like, I want to be a different and happier person. Maybe its a “grass is always greener” situation.