I think I’m struggling a bit on my self acceptance.

For example, I know that HRT is something I want. But I’m not ready for it right now. I have this strong desire to start it and start a more noticeable transition, but after looking more into it I got scared and dysphoric almost about the whole thing?

I have moments where I’m confident and want to move forward but also moments where I’m scared and it feels like too much.

Plus I feel like I’m running out the clock on my transition. I’m almost 30 and only came out to myself and my wife a month ago. I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of my life already in the wrong body and I feel like I need to play catch up almost.

I guess I’m wondering if these are common feelings people have when first starting off? Knowing that you want something for your transition but just not being ready yet. And this weird sense of time slipping away even faster than before? Almost like a mid life crisis… like a beginning transition crisis, lol

Just something I’ve been conflicted over the past week that I thought I would share with y’all. ❤️

  • Coco@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    10·
    8 months ago

    I had an appointment to start HRT in January 2022 and chickened out. I was 32 years old at the time.

    After three months and some therapy, I went back and started officially in March 2022.

    Sometimes you aren’t ready, and that’s okay. Give yourself some time and some love. You deserve it.

    And trust me, here at age 34, I can tell ya that no clock has run out. I love myself more than ever and I still have so much more growing to do.

    • oNevia@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
      4·
      8 months ago

      I think I’ll definitely bring this up to my therapist as well. She already knows about my recent coming out and is really supportive but maybe she can help me work through these insecurities some more.

      Feeling like I should love my self is new to me… and something that my wife has been preaching for years. I read her your comment and she gestured generally at the room and said “this is what I’ve been trying to tell you” 😅

      Glad to hear this weird time crunch I’m putting on myself is just that. Something I arbitrarily put on myself that is causing more harm than good. I need to learn to enjoy the small changes and transitions as they come and not jump to bigger steps just yet.