On average women do more things like give up careers for child rearing, still do tons of daily drudgery like family organizing, housework, Dr. appointments or school activities, cooking, etc. that all goes unrecognized. Dudes go out and do some yard work on a weekend and then hit the couch like they moved the world and should be waited upon for it. I’m a dad and keep my damn mouth shut about my work because my other half has to deal with all the shit when I’m gone at work.
So unless you’re directly acknowledging, lavishing praise and love on all the thankless stuff you’re wife is doing, you don’t have a leg to stand on.
Because when you leave work, you generally don’t have to keep doing it when you get home. Being a stay at home parent tends to be from eyes open to eyes closed kind of gig. There’s a lot of planning that goes into every day, and some of it needs to be planned ahead of time. Things like dinners, for example. Or the doctors appointments someone else mentioned. Or that laundry needs to get done, dishes out away, shit I still need to go shopping for food for the next week, and while I’m out I need to fill this prescription, and after that I need to make sure I’m on time to pick the kids up from school. And once we all get home I need to make sure that they do any assigned homework or practice their instrument. And FUCK I FORGOT TO PULL MEAT OUT OF THE FREEZER.
Being the stay at home parent is a LOT of work… And it never ends. Parents don’t get weekends off or union mandated lunch breaks.
And when the other half gets home from work, a lot of times the expectation is that they won’t have to do much at home.
A lot of times going to work means you get to focus on something else and don’t have to make all the decisions. The mental load gets shifted. You’re getting told what to do rather than having to plan it all out. It’s not always the case, but I’d argue that the majority of times it is.
And that’s one of the things that can be difficult about being a parent and in a relationship. Making sure you’re doing what you can to help lighten the load on your other half. And hell … I’d argue that should be the case regardless of your parental status. Always be trying to make life easier for each other. Don’t ever let it be one way.
I’m a dad and keep my damn mouth shut about my work because my other half has to deal with all the shit when I’m gone at work
Well, that seems unhealthy as hell as well. This is the whole stoic to a fault bullshit for both partners now. I’d say vent to your partner and let your partner vent to you about your shitty days. Why live your life together but not be able to share your burdens? Just my two cents though.
TBF…
On average women do more things like give up careers for child rearing, still do tons of daily drudgery like family organizing, housework, Dr. appointments or school activities, cooking, etc. that all goes unrecognized. Dudes go out and do some yard work on a weekend and then hit the couch like they moved the world and should be waited upon for it. I’m a dad and keep my damn mouth shut about my work because my other half has to deal with all the shit when I’m gone at work.
So unless you’re directly acknowledging, lavishing praise and love on all the thankless stuff you’re wife is doing, you don’t have a leg to stand on.
Why is working put forward as some sort of prize?
Because when you leave work, you generally don’t have to keep doing it when you get home. Being a stay at home parent tends to be from eyes open to eyes closed kind of gig. There’s a lot of planning that goes into every day, and some of it needs to be planned ahead of time. Things like dinners, for example. Or the doctors appointments someone else mentioned. Or that laundry needs to get done, dishes out away, shit I still need to go shopping for food for the next week, and while I’m out I need to fill this prescription, and after that I need to make sure I’m on time to pick the kids up from school. And once we all get home I need to make sure that they do any assigned homework or practice their instrument. And FUCK I FORGOT TO PULL MEAT OUT OF THE FREEZER.
Being the stay at home parent is a LOT of work… And it never ends. Parents don’t get weekends off or union mandated lunch breaks.
And when the other half gets home from work, a lot of times the expectation is that they won’t have to do much at home.
A lot of times going to work means you get to focus on something else and don’t have to make all the decisions. The mental load gets shifted. You’re getting told what to do rather than having to plan it all out. It’s not always the case, but I’d argue that the majority of times it is.
And that’s one of the things that can be difficult about being a parent and in a relationship. Making sure you’re doing what you can to help lighten the load on your other half. And hell … I’d argue that should be the case regardless of your parental status. Always be trying to make life easier for each other. Don’t ever let it be one way.
Well, that seems unhealthy as hell as well. This is the whole stoic to a fault bullshit for both partners now. I’d say vent to your partner and let your partner vent to you about your shitty days. Why live your life together but not be able to share your burdens? Just my two cents though.
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