I’m learning that being told “you’re too sensitive” and other such remarks is considered gaslighting. However, as autistic individuals, we are known for being highly sensitive, both with perceptions and emotions. So, I find myself wondering if perhaps I need to consider that I am more sensitive than the general population and accommodate what I see as their insensitivity, dismissiveness, and blame-shifting.
How do you handle being told “you’re too sensitive”?
What do you think would be a healthy response?
I don’t have an answer, but I have family that will say insulting shit as if it’s nothing, then get mad at me if I react in anyway.
Like my mom drinking on the weekend, and telling me I don’t know what love is and should just go ahead and get a girlfriend already.
… I’ve been in love, and I’m super gay. And if the child doesn’t know what love is, I feel like that’s the parent’s fault, isn’t it?
But no, I can’t say anything without it turning into an argument and them complaining about how I take things too literally and “read too much into things”.
But then if they ask me a question and I don’t hear them, their immediate assumption is that I did hear them, I understood their question, I’m able to answer immediately, I’m intentionally ignoring them, and my goal is to be disrespectful. So they immediately start ranting about how disrespectful I am, instead of just asking if I heard the question.
And then they wonder why I don’t like talking to them.
That sounds like a terrible situation to be in because you can’t have a voice nor can you defend yourself. If you hear something, you’re too sensitive. If you don’t, then you’re ignoring them. There really is no way to exist without punishment. I’m sorry you’re going through that.
Thanks. I could go on and on. Like how I’ve been wearing glasses and contacts for years, but they recently accused me of faking because I could hold a container inches from my face and see a few ants inside.
I lost my job and had to move in with them recently. I wore the same pair of contacts for a month, and need to refill my prescription. Everything more than a foot and a half away is blurry.
So, a day or two after saying I was faking, mom sent me a Facebook video out of the blue instructing people to stare at the Sun for better eyesight. No apologies, no nothing, but apparently she believed me again and wanted to “help”.
And like a day later, when I told her a friend was going to help me order a small box of contacts so I can see, and drive, and work, and even just be able to read; her response was to tell me she could have helped, but didn’t want to “enable me”…
I can only imagine she meant I should squeeze my butt cheeks real hard and bootstrap my way into better vision, or she thought my bad vision was a delusion that she didn’t want to feed into. Either way, not great.
Like, she’s the one that complained about me using old contacts in the first place and urged me to throw them away to avoid eye damage and going blind.
But then what was with the random accusation, then the sudden change of heart? The fuck is going on?
My friend never followed up, and they’re dealing with their own stuff, so I don’t want to just ask them for the money. So it’s been over a month of not being able to see and I’m just… existing. Can really do much when I can’t even read without holding the thing a foot away from my face.
There obviously more to the story, but it’s a complicated living situation at the moment.
Anyway, there is a lot more than just those two things, and I suspect they have narcissistic and paranoid personality traits. They constantly make the worst assumptions. Like tonight, they were looking for a bottle of sauce in their pantry. (My sister and I have our own in the garage.) They couldn’t find the bottle, and immediately assumed someone stole it. I don’t eat meat, so I wouldn’t have used it. So, they assumed my sister went into their cabinet and took it. Mom told me that was the exact reason why they can’t trust us, or something like that. I was trying to ignore her.
Guess what though? They found the bottle on the counter a few minutes later, and mom scoffed at dad for accusing my sister for no reason.
I’m tired… I’m just so tired.
Edit: Here’s the video she sent me.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1232929208094631?sfnsn=mo&s=F5x8gs&fs=e&mibextid=6AJuK9