• MagicShel@programming.dev
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    7 months ago

    First, I’m fifty. I have five kids. I know the sacrifices and demands on both partners very, very well. You aren’t dropping any knowledge here that doesn’t already go into my thinking. And yes, I still think 50/50 is fine. Perfect? No, but arbitrary rules never are and non-arbitrary rules always run into bias. How much money someone deserves becomes a question of who can hire the better lawyer, which isn’t a better system than 50/50.

    Getting back time lost is a ridiculous suggestion. It can’t be done. Time with a fifteen year old is completely different from time with a four year old. So I don’t see any reason to try to litigate or compare to the impossible. My wife moved with me to DC and her mom died of cancer. Who’s giving her back time with her mom? There is no “fair.” Everyone lost opportunities to make other choices and none of that can be undone without a time machine.

    It goes back again to the fact that I couldn’t decide to do it all without her and just pay for everything she gave me.

    The only situation that I can identify with how you describe is military wives, and that’s a whole other fucked up thing. Yeah that for sure happens in the military, but god damn that’s a whole other shitstorm I could write five thousand words on.