<Three> came up with its brainwave. You can tell from the tone of the email that it really thought this was compassion in action. The bereavement team, it proposed, would call your father with you present and, if he consented to be declared dead, it would complete the transfer process used for deceased customers.

It would, it continued blithely, have to report your father as deceased to all the credit reference agencies, but it would later correct this on his credit file, although it would be unable to circumvent a marker on his record. “I really hope this will work for you,” the letter ended brightly.