My raw notes (not progress notes, but like the actual notes I take when talking to someone) are overwhelmingly like this:
Doing well, week was okay - recording response to “hey, how’s it going, how’s your week, how’s your mood?”
Then immediately something like:
Actually doing terribly. Work is stressful. Conflict with family. Experiencing insomnia. GI issues. Procrastinating a lot and doomscrolling instead of doing work. Etc
There’s this social pragmatic language we go through. The script of what we say to everyone that is completely dishonest but we say it as a colloquial greeting. Even if you are actually doing great you don’t generally expand on why. You just say the same thing you always do because no one actually wants to hear about it. Once that’s out of the way then we can get to the actual thing because therapy and doctors visits are some of the contexts where someone is actually there to hear you out (for money, to be fair)
Yeah I think a lot of it is also a form of masking. Like necessary functional masking. Hard to go about your day saying “miserable and want to die, can i get a latte”. It takes a minute to drop that mask when you’re in a position to do so, even with practice!
Yeah, when it’s the social norm to greet someone and not talk about personal issues, it’s very strange to be asked “how’s it going,” and not respond “good” or “not bad” as you have been for years as an automated response.
Takes time to realize that the person asking that isn’t making small talk, but is trying to help and it’s a genuine question.
Fuck all that shit, most of the time I answer anyone who asks how I’m going honestly. If you ask how I’m doing, you get to hear about my finances, what video game I’ve been playing, or how my partner is doing.
I am a counselor by trade
My raw notes (not progress notes, but like the actual notes I take when talking to someone) are overwhelmingly like this:
Doing well, week was okay - recording response to “hey, how’s it going, how’s your week, how’s your mood?”
Then immediately something like:
Actually doing terribly. Work is stressful. Conflict with family. Experiencing insomnia. GI issues. Procrastinating a lot and doomscrolling instead of doing work. Etc
There’s this social pragmatic language we go through. The script of what we say to everyone that is completely dishonest but we say it as a colloquial greeting. Even if you are actually doing great you don’t generally expand on why. You just say the same thing you always do because no one actually wants to hear about it. Once that’s out of the way then we can get to the actual thing because therapy and doctors visits are some of the contexts where someone is actually there to hear you out (for money, to be fair)
Yeah I think a lot of it is also a form of masking. Like necessary functional masking. Hard to go about your day saying “miserable and want to die, can i get a latte”. It takes a minute to drop that mask when you’re in a position to do so, even with practice!
Yeah, when it’s the social norm to greet someone and not talk about personal issues, it’s very strange to be asked “how’s it going,” and not respond “good” or “not bad” as you have been for years as an automated response.
Takes time to realize that the person asking that isn’t making small talk, but is trying to help and it’s a genuine question.
There are sooooooo many people who will respond very seriously to a slight changeup of your wording.
For example if you say “how is today treating you?” They tell you, like 60% of the time. In great detail.
It short circuits their brain and skips pleasantry mode.
It’s fucking fascinating to use as an opener.
Fuck all that shit, most of the time I answer anyone who asks how I’m going honestly. If you ask how I’m doing, you get to hear about my finances, what video game I’ve been playing, or how my partner is doing.