I don’t understand it but apparently most people respond to shame by doubling down.
Instead of “dude I can’t believe you voted for trump. He’s a rapist failed business man who wants to destabilize Europe and be a dictator” doesn’t yield “yeah I fucked up” in most people, but instead “no you’re an asshole and I did nothing wrong!”
Admitting fault is a power move and more people should embrace it.
Shame is psychologically painful - or brain will do amazing things to avoid that pain. You’re right that admitting fault is a power move, but it requires being able to cope with that potential pain and move forward. Easier to just assert the other person is wrong and avoid that pain completely.
I don’t understand it but apparently most people respond to shame by doubling down.
Instead of “dude I can’t believe you voted for trump. He’s a rapist failed business man who wants to destabilize Europe and be a dictator” doesn’t yield “yeah I fucked up” in most people, but instead “no you’re an asshole and I did nothing wrong!”
Admitting fault is a power move and more people should embrace it.
Shame is psychologically painful - or brain will do amazing things to avoid that pain. You’re right that admitting fault is a power move, but it requires being able to cope with that potential pain and move forward. Easier to just assert the other person is wrong and avoid that pain completely.