Fraternity is how yankees reproduce, they all get half naked in a damp basement and congeal into a big heap snail-style before laying egg clutches in the bottom floors of parking garages. These Americans probably just finished laying their eggs when discovered.

What a lot of people don’t understand is how distinctly these biological characteristics affect the ecology of the local biome. Because they’re so reliant on car infrastructure for mating and reproduction, yankee ranges select for such infrastructure. When you look at a desolate, car infested place like Texas, we must remember that God didn’t make it that way, it was the goddamned yankee.