In calendar news, Australia Day is officially changing date after this year and will no longer be celebrated on January 26th. With a new date of January 20th chosen instead in order to celebrate the day that Scott Morrison announced his departure from politics.
The day was reportedly chosen for the holiday as it was clearly the day that Australia has most come together to celebrate, like what Australia Day claims to be.
Another good one: Scott Morrison resigns to spend more time not holding a hose