They had to blood sacrifice Gram to restore Lich… I mean Mitch’s phylactery.

Clearly his soul was mended by the acceptance of the Quran

No fucking way does a guy his age receive CPR and look like this a week or two later. Idk wtf is going on, like I wouldn’t put it past the media class to fuck up their reporting on the CPR, but I’m still firmly on the “they’re weekend-at-bernie’ing him” theory for the time being, with “some kind of dark ritual that sacrificed Lindsey Graham to heal McConnell” a close second.

ughhh fucking christ, are you fucking kidding me

can’t have shit on this planet smh