Full title: A 44-year-old man went to the hospital after pus began oozing from his chest, where doctors discovered a knife that had been embedded in his body for eight years. According to the report, he showed no signs of chest pain, breathing problems, coughing, or fever, and was otherwise in good health.

Dibs on the movie rights
Just give me a cut.
Hang on, I should rephrase that.
Yeah, you should take another stab at it.
clarence you stabby bastard fuck off
every time a chump gets shanked an angel gets his wings!
Some rapier wits around here, any way you slice it.