That’s the fun part!

But it is a complex process. Often times getting the appt scheduled will be the blocker for me, but it’s always the cascade behind it that is the real issue. I can schedule appointments all day long, but when I know it’s committing me to an office visit, follow-ups, insurance or out of pocket payment, shuffling my day around to make it fit, and all other manner of ‘things’ that are suddenly on my plate that weren’t before it turns into a whole thing. I’m usually at my best when I can just be in the present and get what needs to be done right now done without worrying about that cascade.

But then, say I manage that and the appointment is coming up and I am back in that headspace considering all the cascading effects of going to that appointment…. I have to brute force every single step or all the work I’ve done til now gets wasted. If I’m lucky enough I can sunken cost my way into productivity. Otherwise it’s a constant practice in gaslighting myself to stop thinking about the forest for the trees (which still sucks because at least the forest is just one big thing while the trees are millions of little things which might be worse) just to stay functional.

I’m very close to finally getting prescribed a stimulant that my psych thinks will help with all of this and I’m very keen to see if it helps.