I was recently involuntarily held in a mental hospital where I went through prison like conditions (strip search, had to wear scrubs, was locked in a room outside certain times a day, stuff like that) and thankfully came out in one piece after 8 days of this crap. I was just wondering why we subject people to these conditions when they haven’t even committed a crime?
I hope you recover soon. I’ve been depressed in the past and convinced that suicide is the right path. It is not - when you’re mentally ill you lose perspective and people telling you “it’ll get better” or “life is worth living” but thay will seem hollow.
If you find it difficult to understand why people want you to live then maybe think of it this way: what have you got to lose? If you’ve decided it’s over and there is no point, then you might as well try the support and the medication because you’ve got nothing left to lose.
I’m glad I took the support and the meds. It did get better, and that was the route for me to heal and change the direction of my life.
I hope you try, and maybe realise that it wouldn’t be a true decision if you’re too mentally unwell to make a rational decision.