I am having such a shitty fucking day. I’ve honestly never felt this bad so fast before. Just massively angry, wanting to lash out over everything.
Everything is getting worse and none of us are stopping it(I’m certainly not). My attempts to maybe improve things for myself just add more stress and inevitably fail. I feel like I’m trying to climb a styrofoam wall. I can grab at chunks to try and pull myself up, but all I’m doing is fucking up an already shitty wall.
Hugs. If you can roll yourself up somewhere in the sun I recommend it. You aren’t alone in your feelings.
I read On The Beach a few years ago after the 2020 bushfires and at the start of COVID when I was feeling particularly hopeless. Basically its a classic about an impending nuclear winter - what happens when everyone find out they have six months to live. One of the side characters just carried on tending their little garden, planting out things that they would never harvest and in all probability would never grow. But it was her job - to tend her garden and she figured no-one knew any would be next so she might as well do this thing. She was totally at peace. I think about her a lot when I am in this headspace.
There are green places to be in the sun nearish me, but too far to walk, and I don’t want to be around other people much so a tram would be a bad idea I reckon.
I had read some of it a while ago, but lost my place and never bothered to refind it. Might have to give it another look some time, because it’s a great book. I wish I had the certainty of a set date, honestly. Six months is easier to handle than “it’s a mystery”
I am having such a shitty fucking day. I’ve honestly never felt this bad so fast before. Just massively angry, wanting to lash out over everything.
Everything is getting worse and none of us are stopping it(I’m certainly not). My attempts to maybe improve things for myself just add more stress and inevitably fail. I feel like I’m trying to climb a styrofoam wall. I can grab at chunks to try and pull myself up, but all I’m doing is fucking up an already shitty wall.
Hugs. If you can roll yourself up somewhere in the sun I recommend it. You aren’t alone in your feelings.
I read On The Beach a few years ago after the 2020 bushfires and at the start of COVID when I was feeling particularly hopeless. Basically its a classic about an impending nuclear winter - what happens when everyone find out they have six months to live. One of the side characters just carried on tending their little garden, planting out things that they would never harvest and in all probability would never grow. But it was her job - to tend her garden and she figured no-one knew any would be next so she might as well do this thing. She was totally at peace. I think about her a lot when I am in this headspace.
There are green places to be in the sun nearish me, but too far to walk, and I don’t want to be around other people much so a tram would be a bad idea I reckon.
I had read some of it a while ago, but lost my place and never bothered to refind it. Might have to give it another look some time, because it’s a great book. I wish I had the certainty of a set date, honestly. Six months is easier to handle than “it’s a mystery”
deleted by creator
Oh crap I did not mean to delete. Fat thumb moment. Was just saying hugs and take care
Massive hugs. Climbing a styrofoam wall sounds incredibly difficult. I hope you find a moment of joy today, even if it’s tiny.
I know the feeling. Right there with you. All you can do is give em hell
Edit: Alternatively https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HjPgdhRsGIQ
Feeling any better?
Not feeling as shit this morning.