Transcription:

A 4chan post by Anonymous with a picture of Mickey Mouse wet from The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Skeleton Star

>Novice necromancer submits a spell to the DM.
>DM “It’s poorly written but whatever. You can use it”
>As is the nature of a fucking weirdo the necromancer goes off by himself to perform his degeneracy
>A successful summoning
>Roll to control it
>fail
>The skeleton sorcerer summoned an additional skeleton sorcerer minion.
>Nervouslaughter.jpg by everyone at the table.
>Roll to banish
>another fail
>each of skeleton sorcerers then summon another sorcerer, 1 per skeleton sorcerer.
>Necromancer “oh god, this is getting bad…I’m gonna need some help”
>party is in an inn across the way
>necromancer runs for help.
>DM runs the calculations.
>in the time it took for him to get the party from the inn the skeletons have reproduced.
>There are now over 16000 skeletons and they’re continuing to multiply exponentially.
>“oh god…”
>“Tha…That’s too many skeletons guys, we need a high level NPC!”
>“DM, how many more skeletons can be created?”
>DM-“According to the spell submitted by Drenokan, there’s no limit…”
>“FUCK!”
>The party bails from the town. The screams of the townsfolk can be heard in the distance as the skeletons continue to multiply. Everyone smacks Drenokan in the back of the head as they go
>As they run a tower of skeletons emerges from the horizon as the dawn breaks.
>Party arrives at a port town as a wave of skeletons builds in the forest behind them, Skeletons now tumbling over one another summoning more skeletons as they fall as skeletons summoning skeletons summoning skeletons summoning skeletons summon yet more skeletons.
>“we’ll take a boat and just head off to another continent, problem solved guys. let’s get out of here”
>DM’s narration is perfect
>“As the boat departs skeletons are just beginning to tumble onto the docks. The panicked screams of the townsfolk generate an eerie melody as a precession of percussion drifts through the air. An untold number of bones clattering together herald the end of Swiftwater, the small port town at the western edge of the continent of Ed’hyak. Ed’hyak, known for it’s [sic] bustling cities and vibrant merchant commerce was thus buried beneath a mountain of bones. In the coming hours millions die in this bonocolpylse, their bones merely acting as a foundation for yet more bones to follow”
>Mackleroy, a merchant character in the party is livid. He’s real big into world building and he’d spent a month with the DM developing this place and it basically became a barren bone wasteland in a matter of 6 or 7 turns.
>Mackleroy “Okay, can we restart already? This is getting stupid”
> DM “No, Not until we finish the story.”
> Boat is filled with weeping people lamenting their forsaken homes. Mackleroy is considering tossing Drenokan overboard. Other party members are actually trying to critically think things through. “How can we stem this tide of undead?” “mayhaps we can draw them into the void…” .
>captain of ship calls out “Gods alive! Protect us! Thar be skeletons head’n our way!”
>DM narrates further "In the distance a wave of skeletons roll across the horizon cutting the sea in twain. The rattle of their bones has become a deafening roar. The ship breaks out into a panic. People are screaming, crying, jumping overboard; complete pandemonium. The boat gets swept up in this skeleton tide. Skeletons appear from thin air tumbling onto the boat as they do.
>The party is fighting off skeletons on the boat in a sea of skeletons.
>The wave of skeletons gradually continues to overtake the boat and soon the boat itself is adrift in this sea of skeletons. Party takes turns fighting off the skeletons. Frantically making saving rolls that never hit 20 for some kind of divine intervention. At one point our sorcerer tries to reason them “PLEASE, STAHP, NO MORE!”
>nothing
>DM intervenes "There are countless skeletons now. Even if you could cut down one million with a single swing you’d never be able to overtake their ability to reproduce. This continues for a while longer and then…they reach a critical mass. The weight of the skeletons becomes so great that their combined mass crushes the innermost portions of the planet. The generation of gravity from the skeletons’ ever increasing mass sucks them into a void of density instantly killing anyone left on the planet who wasn’t already dead…or a skeleton. This starts a chain reaction with [sic] fuels the creation of a new star. A star born of death. The cries of many are lost to a burning blaze in the aether. Some say you can still hear the rattling of bones echoing around this star.

Tongue in cheek. This short campaign is affectionately referred to in our group as “Mr Bone’s wild ride”