are you going to send the Cards Against Humanity owners to a CIA blacksite for doing such brutal social media dunks on you?

If they lost within the margin of Georgia, it would’ve been possible. it felt like the rhetoric leading up to it, including senior military generals basically making as close as possible to an endorsement, that they were keeping the door open if they lost. Trump winning every swing state, the popular vote, and exceeding the margin of left-wing 3rd parties means only the most insane Ukraine supporters are still considering a coup now.

your honor, there’s no law saying I can’t make a normal distribution with a kurtosis of 1 trillion.

I was prepared to shit on it, but it’s actually much better than I remember SNL being. Spelling out the garbage truck joke sucked, and I had no idea that was supposed to be Doug for most of the skit, he seemed like just a CNN host. also, the Joe Biden lines weren’t that funny, but otherwise, alright cold open. I think they did like 4 years of cold opens with that cross-dressing Lindsey graham character, it’s good to be past that.

Coomers using their right hand to pull the lever for Kamala.

Voting for Trump because of “accelerationism”

Voting For Trump Because Dijksta’s algorithm found the shortest path to communism.

Think of the election as a Bus route from source, S, to Target, T. a directed graph G=(V,E), where V is the set of vertices (nodes) and E is the set of edges. Each edge (i,j)∈E has an associated non-negative cost (or length) c_ij

Let x_ij​ be a binary variable that equals 1 if edge (i,j) is included in the shortest path, and 0 otherwise.

Minimize ∑​_(i,j)∈E [c_ij​x_ij​]

Subject to:

∑_j:(s,j)∈E[x_sj]−∑_i:(i,s)∈E [x_is]=1

∑_i:(i,t)∈E [x_it]−∑_j:(t,j)∈E [x_tj]=−1

∑_i:(i,k)∈E [x_ik]−∑_j:(k,j)∈E [x_kj]=0∀k∈V∖{s,t}

x_ij∈{0,1}∀(i,j)∈E

have a roommate (let’s call him Alex M23)

Yep, it’s a Trans guy. fellas who don’t want to get clocked should stop picking this and “August” as their names.

1. Vlad II Dracul
2. Chet Hanks
3. Jean-François Allard
4. Albert Camus
5. Israel Epstein

nebraska all GOP

unfortunately not a realistic map.

edit: MI and PA red, GA XOR NC Blue are two realistic results, and would be a tie! 538 for some reason says there is still only a 0.3% chance of a tie though.

Have you heard In Vino Veritas? this is the same, but you degrade their faculties with pain instead of CNS depressants.

I dunno, guys. I only have the energy to vote in one election, and I have a feeling like the election after this one is going to be the most important election of our lifetime.

America couldn’t win a conflict with Vietnam, it still kneecapped the region and set them back decades.

concentration camps, murder, forced sterilization, and potentially slavery for undocumented migrants as the climate collapse causes their numbers to swell. Invasion of northern Mexico for a buffer zone. Completely ineffective federal management leaves most local governments fending for themselves. There is regional Junta that does nothing to help, and you only see them 0-3 times a year when they roll through your town with vehicles and equipment that look even more piecemeal than the last time to punish anyone suspected of disloyalty, then leaving abruptly. The return of absolute hunger and deaths from malnourishment. US Navy begins open piracy on food and aid shipments in southeast Asia.

I think this will come to pass around 2045. around 2035 is when the US will have finished gearing up to confront China, and what victory looks like in that conflict will doubtlessly shape the next decade to a large degree. I doubt China will dismantled given it’s size and internal security, but the strategic destruction the US can inflict would be devastating. Even if they do sink the US navy, if they don’t win fast, then they’ve lost.

it’s fallen for the same pattern of all our other shitposting subs as being utilized by very unfunny posters, and therefore most people have it blocked. When you do come up with a good bit (this is one), it will only get the engagement it deserves on chapo.

yes, ballots are private, they only see the record of if you vote or not. they’re not paying you to vote, they’re paying you immediately once you make a plan to vote.

Apparently, it’s from a Poem by the Tang Era poet Cen Shen, who is Speaking to his service during the An Lushan Rebellion:

吾窃悲此生，四十幸未老。
一朝逢世乱，终日不自保。
胡兵夺长安，宫殿生野草。
伤心五陵树，不见二京道。
我皇在行军，兵马日浩浩。
胡雏尚未灭，诸将恳征讨。
昨闻咸阳败，杀戮净如扫。
积尸若丘山，流血涨丰镐。
干戈碍乡国，豺虎满城堡。
村落皆无人，萧条空桑枣。
儒生有长策，无处豁怀抱。
块然伤时人，举首哭苍昊。
早知逢世乱，少小谩读书。
悔不学弯弓，向东射狂胡。
偶从谏官列，谬向丹墀趋。
未能匡吾君，虚作一丈夫。
抚剑伤世路，哀歌泣良图。
功业今已迟，览镜悲白须。
平生抱忠义，不敢私微躯。