I heap a lot of contempt on people who completely miss the point of Starship Troopers, but that’s nothing compared to the people whose take away from WALL-E is to dream of boarding The Axiom…

More proof that Santa Claus is a CIA op designed to get kids used to living in a surveillance state!

Because Xi finally hears our prayers:

He can’t trick me: Anti-aging? Bizarre Facial transformation? He clearly has found The One Ring

Is it a fluke from the face lifts or did they give Biden a Bajoran nose to help hold his Aviators in place? Maybe the Dems think it will increase their ‘resistance’ cred?

& go

More Bill Hicks commenting on current events 30 years ago…

They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh?
“I think what God meant to say…”
I have never been that confident.
Next we have a bible out called ‘The New Living Bible’, it’s the bible in updated and modern English. I guess to make it more palatable for people to read. But its really weird, when you listen to it.
“And Jesus walked on water. And Peter said, ‘Awesome!'”
Suddenly we got Jesus hanging ten across the Sea of Galilee. Christ’s Bogus Adventure, you know. Deuteronomy 90210, you know.

“I’ve run campaigns for Al Gore, John Kerry, and Hillary Clinton! And by gum it put them on the map!”

Also, it’s probably crossing a line or two, but the urge to rework the monorail song into the genocide song is very real. I mean the syllables line up and everything

I’m guessing the entire first section is just:

Lower Food Costs

Food costs are already low enough!

Lower Healthcare Costs

Health care costs are already low enough!

etc.

Well, somebody needs to get them to step up their game. The last few assassination attempts have been pathetic! :sicko-JFK:

Opened the door for change

was the incumbent

Shortest campaign in living memory

Still manages to run all of its energy straight into the ground well before the election

“Ah hell! Not again…”

Johnnie Turner

Reality

On Tuesday, she said in an interview with NBC News that she supported raising the minimum wage to at least $15 per hour

*Checks the inflation calculator real quick*

For this to have the same meaning now as it did in 2016 when they started this line, they would have to increase it to $20 already

if(candidateA==Hitler)
   Vote(candidateB);

“Look at that, just two lines of code! What could go wrong?”

Lib : “THIS is why he worked at McDonalds! Now when you search ‘Trump Golden’, showers isn’t even in the top 3!”

“OK we have to concede that Trump locked down Ronald McDonald…I don’t like it but it is what it is. So the question now is: whose endorsement can we still get to prove to voters that we’re the real clown party?”

“You are, explicitly, not getting anything out of your Democrat support. Nevertheless, it’s 4 PM. Time for your cartoon cat-boy zoom call, man who was alive during WW2.”

"Yes, Future Madam President"

“That’s right, Jack…I was just #BidenMyTime!”