"Nevermind the man behind the curtain folks, because it’s a different man this time around!’

That’s odd because out here in the real world people absolutely let women know that it’s their own lack of boundaries that led to being taken advantage of, and nobody gets upset because no one is being a petulant ill tempered dick about it when they do so. You are literally living in a fantasy land you’ve built for yourself so you don’t have to face your own shitty attitude being part of this.

I’m not the one who is pretending. You do you, obviously no one will be able to break through that wall of self importance.

EDIT:

I don’t make it my fucking personality.

*Gestures broadly at this entire thread.

Sure looks like it from here.

I can’t decide if this is the worst use of Drake or most appropriate use of Drake in this meme format.

Even though it’s a hair on an image, it still makes me retch slightly at the thought of the hair actually being on the delicious pie.

he’s a good man even if he did wind up the sort of guy that’s really into sports.

Thank you kindly for the compliment.

You’re an adult, and you don’t change it by telling your child self that, you change it by having some fucking self respect and not blaming every person who has mistreated you for why you should never trust or be kind to anyone else ever. Your own inability to accept your own lack of boundaries when it comes to being taken advantage of or treated like a pushover is evidence of that. I’ve been hurt too, but I also see when I made mistakes, didn’t set clear boundaries, and how that impacted the situations a great deal. I have also seen when my own bad attitude has led people to dislike me, and so I dropped the bad attitude, because it hurt me more than helped me, and honestly, I’m much happier for it. You really ought to try it sometime.

Incel is an insult because people like you make it your whole personality and are bitter sad sacks who make it the worlds problem instead of choosing to look inward. People give up and insult incels not because they can’t get laid, but because they make their whole lives about it instead of finding anything constructive to do with their time like my asexual friends do. If you think people actually make fun of incels because they don’t get laid and not that they fail to see how their shitty fucking attitudes is why they don’t get laid while latching on to anything to try to justify it except their own shit behavior and beliefs, you’re missing the forest for the trees.

Also, I didn’t get laid until I was 20. You are literally reaching for any, and I mean any, reason for this to not be your fault and to justify being bitter and angry and unlikeable.

Gee I thought Walz assured us that Homan would be more professional!

I’m fucking sick as shit of Democrats rolling the fuck over to continue giving fascists the benefit of the doubt.

It’s the first one, I promise. The second one is just the excuse you give yourself. It’s a choice you’re making to be bitter and unlikable, as much as you want to pretend it’s not.

It’s absolutely not the same logic. You not being able to get loving people in your life as an individual because of a bad attitude and outlook is not in any way the same as systemic oppression. You are not being systemically oppressed because your shitty outlook and attitude makes you not likeable. You not having people who like you in your life is not anything like people being kidnapped in the streets for being the wrong race or having the wrong politics, being denied legal counsel, food, water, or reasonable living facilities and then being disappeared to a country they’ve never been to. The comparison is honestly laughable.

You’re desperately looking for any way to justify being an angry bitter sad sack. I don’t know what to tell you.

If “vagina” is treated as social currency, then what the fuck do you expect to happen?

The thing is here, you’re the only one seemingly holding it up as social currency. I think you really need to think about that. Because I have close friends who are asexual, they’re not and never have been driven by sex, and they’re some of the funniest, most thoughtful, most artistic, most pro-social people I have in my life. Genuinely one of my best friends has had one girlfriend in his life and has been celibate by choice since, and he is one of the most prolific artists I know and I wish he could get a foot in the door with his comedy writing, because I think his stuff should be on television or other media. I listen to the albums he has released regularly. He has a vibrant social life and many friends and literally no one cares that he has no interest in sex.

If you think “people who get laid” hold it up as a social currency, you’re the one who actually holds it as a currency.

I already am, dude.

I can tell. I tried to be supportive and understanding here instead of just ragging on you, which I definitely could have. You have rejected it out of hand with excuses of why it just makes sense for you to be bitter and hateful. I don’t know what else to tell you. That’s on you.

Also, I definitely don’t think I’m the exception rather than the rule considering how many men I know who have had similar traumas and are also well adjusted adults who don’t blame the whole world for their problems.

You’re not helping your case by telling people who actually get laid regularly “don’t be a cuck,” though. If you don’t want people to throw you in that handbasket, then maybe stop giving them reason to do so through the way you speak and present yourself? Then turning around and blaming them for it?

I mean, I definitely don’t feel like a cuck because a woman with serious issues that stemmed from trauma stopped talking to me (and later admitted to stalking me afterwards, wondering what I was up to), when I was dating someone new who was a better fit for me within six months (a beautiful punky redhead with a killer rack). Nevermind that this was also all 22 years ago for me. Nevermind that I’ve also never wanted to get married or have kids. She’s doing well now, has kids, is married to someone kind and loving, and I’m happy for her for that. I’m happy she worked through her trauma and didn’t keep going down the same path of submitting to abuse.

You’re giving people lots of people good reasons to make such assumptions and then you blame them for not knowing your personal history after some throwaway internet posts where you make some seriously misogynistic statements and aren’t initially giving your background. You don’t have to be steeped in machismo to be a misogynist, in fact it can be argued that the 4chan incel crowd feel the same, which is where all the talk about “Chads and Staceys” comes from, where they, like you feel not attractive, feel like they have bad social skills, and get angry at the world for not holding their hand like a baby through it instead of making an effort to do better themselves, even if it takes a long time, a lot of effort, a lot of pain, and a lot of rejection.

But as I said elsewhere, you obviously need help. We all need help. But you won’t be able to move forward until you accept help and accept your own part in how all this works instead of all the blame being on external factors and external actors. We absolutely play a part in how others perceive us and judge us, and we can’t always blame others for those rationally made judgments if we’re giving them good reasons to hold those judgments.

No offense taken, just confused because I never had this many problems with PDFs, but as I said, I was pirating Adobe Acrobat for a long, long time so maybe I just didn’t run into as many issues.

I mean, arguably, that’s what sex workers say, too. That you’re paying for their time and that anything that happens is a choice between two consenting adults. They’re getting paid for their time and sometimes sex just happens during that time.

Seriously man, and I say this with no ill-intent or judgment, you need a therapist. This is way too much for me, an internet stranger, to unpack. I go to therapy for chronic depression that I had long before I was diagnosed with cancer when the depression got worse. I often feel like the universe taunts me by giving me everything I’ve ever dreamed of and then slapping it out of my hands and pointing and laughing. I’m not blaming you for anything, but we all have time to grow and the ability to grow and change and not be the person we were raised to be with the limitations placed on us. I was sent to an extremely small private Baptist school where the only “friends” I had were the same 18 kids from kindergarten to middle school, and I was mostly bullied and ostracized by them. My mother was overbearingly Christian and lacked education herself and had trauma from losing her first children to being kidnapped by her ex-husband which led her to being overly controlling because she would panic about losing us the same way. My extended family was similar to yours, it sounds like as well. I am by no means conventionally attractive and have been overweight the majority of my life.

Our experiences and trauma don’t define us. The pain and problems we suffered aren’t what make us who we are unless we allow them to. That bitterness you hold for it all, that deep contempt for a world where you assume everyone is going to reject you or judge you before even giving them the chance to do so is a choice, even if it doesn’t feel like one. I just try to let such judgments roll off my back, because they will always be there, there will always be someone else judging us or rejecting us. I learned that in high school when I found out there was some kid who hated me and thought I got all the attention from women because of one of my few friends who even had a boyfriend who wasn’t me. It made no sense because she was just my friend and was dating someone else, and it just made me laugh, because it was so patently absurd.

The only blame I can lay at your feet is your unwillingness to be open to the opportunity for things to be different instead of crawling inside a shell of self-protection by rejecting others before they can reject you, and even then I can understand why your trauma makes that hard. It’s been hard for me in similar ways, but I promise you life is easier if you don’t do that. I promise that you don’t have to reject everyone to protect yourself, and that you’re doing yourself more harm and disservice by doing so than you would by being open to the opportunity for something good to happen for once.

What probably makes me the saddest is how much how you speak reminds me of my longest-lived relationship, and the one that troubles me the most about it ending, where she felt like no one would ever love her and people would always judge her for her mental health problems and she had endless panic about being abandoned. I spent so much time and energy trying to prove to her she was worth loving, and that she shouldn’t let people’s judgments impact her, and that I wasn’t going to abandon her. You deserve someone who gives you that kind of effort and time as well, but if you don’t allow someone giving you that kind of time and effort to allow yourself to grow and accept that things could be better, try to change your outlook, you will end up still bitter and blaming the world just like she does, which is what ultimately ended our relationship. I worry for her a lot still.