Ugh, you just described my experience exactly. I’m mildly autistic and so online dating is my primary method since it’s easy for me to misinterpret or not understand the initial stages of the courting process. A lot of my interests are also very male dominated too. Therefore most of the women on dating apps that are interested in me either have kids (I don’t want any and even had a vasectomy) or are overweight since the more in shape women in the same spaces are “more desirable” and have everyone coming to them.

I’d say 90%+ of my partners have weighed more than me while being a lot shorter. Don’t know if I have ever had to worry about my hoodies being stolen since they can’t fit them.

P.S. I know that phrasing sounds problematic and is not how I view people or women as individuals. Game Theory does apply when it comes to dating though, and in the abstract that is one of the things that is going on.

I(M) am an actually healthy weight (I believe I’m almost exactly average for my height and build for a man in the 60s or 70s), but my brain has absolutely been hijacked by sugar, and I can tell. Even avoiding over sweetened stuff for months and months I will still get cravings and having something I know a European would find sickeningly sweet I find is very similar to how junkies describe a relapse.

Despite all of that, I refuse to give in. I enjoy the freedom having a relatively healthy body gives me. Makes finding a partner with a similar mindset and goals hard though. It’s worse than a Thanos snap, 3/4 of the population just gone.

Hey, I’m in the US, I voted against Trump, I’m likely going to suffer if he is able to accomplish a smidgen of what he has talked about, and I think we got what we deserved. I know a lot of innocent people are going to suffer, but this is a country of very selfish people. Even some of the most liberal people I have met in this country still have a very selfish mindset and reason for the liberal bent. As soon as they attain a position where they have an advantage they basically pull up the ladder. I’m personally tired of it.

People are going to die, ecosystems are going to burn, countries may very well fall. My only hope is that things only get bad enough that the masses learn an important lesson that at least lasts for their generation and that recovery is possible in that time frame.

It’s not that I don’t care. It’s not even that I don’t have the fight left in me. I just don’t see any kind of path to a better place without substantial harm occurring first. I will not be happy to be right. I want to be wrong.

As opposed to what?

Some of these cases are so expensive. I am wanting a Super Micro CSE-836 style case to upgrade my NAS and I have an eBay alert I set a few years ago when I couldn’t quite justify spending the money. Turns out I should have because even used the prices are going up and up.

I refuse to code in Python without a really good IDE and linting like PyCharm. When using PyCharm it’s very rare I have issues like this, because it catches them in one way or another, but I notice it catches those kinds of issues a lot when I’m coding soooooooo…

I have also setup the IDE to specifically color code comments like

’ # End If and ’ # Next

in the same style as their beginning statements as I find it much easier to visually scam through code when they are present.

It’s amusing you mention the kink community, because that’s kinda where I have been thinking about recently. I’m very much a versatile, but have only ever been the dominate one (I have never knowingly met or interacted with a dominate women that wasn’t an obvious scammer). I have always been kink adjacent, meaning people I have dated or know are/were involved in it, but I never have been. I have poked around and found there are some Femdom related meetups and munches in my area, so I do plan on scoping one of them out at some point.

My only real ‘hesitation’ is just the type of women in my area that tend to be involved in kink in my area tend to be a bit larger and older than I would prefer 😅. Not that I’m shaming them for that, everyone should be comfortable in their own bodies. In fact, I would estimate at least 80% of my partners have weighed more than me while being shorter than me. I’m not actually that picky, I just know that ultimately I would like someone who is at a similar activity level and overall level of fitness. I’m not looking for a super model.

I am exactly average for my height and weight… if it were the 1970s. That eliminates 66% of the population in my area though and is likely something I will likely concede on as I have in the past.

Really, I’m mostly holding out for VR or holographic projections to get to a point where I can reasonably pretend/convince myself (not actually but you know what I mean) it’s good enough. Something along the lines of what K has in his apartment in Blade Runner 2049. I’m thinking in like 20-30 years maybe?

Edit: I actually did the math not too long ago pulling data from the most recent census and Pew Research and the number of women that match my criteria and are on dating apps in my area is about 35. Well like 35.6 but I’m not sure if I should count on the double leg amputee or not (joking). That number is likely a little smaller due to some things I couldn’t get numbers for.

It’s an LSposed/XPosed based app called YouTube Adaway. It also enables background playback.

Like I said, it’s my only option really, but been doing it when out of a relationship for at least a decade.

Not to be too snarky, I know you are just trying to be helpful, but I have tons of hobbies I enjoy and not enough time and money to enjoy the ones that I do have. I’m not looking for someone that shares my every hobby, but the only women I seem to connect with are of the engineering STEM type, but the interest has always been very one sided.

Another unfortunate part of our current reality is that life at this point almost assumes there are two working people in a household. It can be very difficult just getting daily and weekly responsibilities done with any time left over.

Then being told that despite doing everything society says one should do and be to be desirable to a partner (including being understanding and respectful of others struggles, trauma, neurodiversity, etc.) basically being told I just need to be more social is infuriating. So the fact that I’m introverted and find lots of social interaction taxing is something I need to get over, but I need to just accept that I will never have someone ASK ME out and I need to be patient and understanding with everyone I interact with?

I said, I know you are just trying to be helpful, and this frustration isn’t directed at you, but life more generally. It’s something I have gotten a lot of and feels a lot like “hopes and prayers”. It’s a reaction people seem to have wanting to somehow cognitively decouple from the core root cause and find a way to other me and what I need to do so that they don’t have to really engage with and think about the cold reality of it all.

Any tips for someone who would want to emigrate, but doesn’t have any connections? I am an engineer and I have looked at immigration requirements for places like Canada and New Zeeland in the past and it seems like the only real shot I might have is if I work for an international company that has facilities in one of those countries.

That has been my specific issue with paying for any Google product always. I understand when I am using a product for free that I am not necessarily the customer and that money has to be made off of me or the users more generally somehow. That’s “fine” (ish, not really, but that has more to do with issues of security than anything).

However when I pay for a product or service, I want to now be the customer and I want to be in control of my data and have the company cater to me. If, when paying for a Google service, there was some legally relevant things in place that insured I was no longer being tracked and used to generate revenue via third parties I would gladly pay. Probably more than they are charging now, but instead they want to have it both ways which is just not OK with me.

What I find the most hilarious is that on a rooted Android phone there is an app that hooks into the YouTube app and eliminates adds in it. Even when my PC with Firefox and UBlock get temporarily blocked in the battle between Google and ad blockers my phone using the standard app still doesn’t have adds.

I don’t know something about it is very satisfying to me.

My issue is with your first sentence (cis white man that is about as just barely straight). With all of the talk about equality, equity, and BS gender roles, I’m still expected to make all of the initial moves and decisions in real life and on apps. However, I’m mildly on the spectrum and my natural tenancy is to be very aggressive in my methods (not in a violent way and not just with people, just mean I am very earnest, locked in, and tenacious with most things I do).

I have never been approached, hit on, or asked out by a women in real life, though I have by men a couple of times. When I’m in public or at a bar I am literally invisible, unless I happen to walk into a women’s zone of awareness (not personal space, but the point/distance where they then have to make a judgment as to whether I am a threat or not).

The advantage of online dating is that if I match with someone it’s reasonable to assume they are interested in me which puts me past the initial barrier in real life of not being able to tell. At that point I’m pretty OK at interacting with a person and flirting etc. However, my hobbies and the things I would like a partner to enjoy doing with me are very male dominated.

The result of this is that I haven’t ever had a partner or dated someone who didn’t have crippling anxiety and/or deep self-image issues where they use their partner for all of the validation and structure they haven’t figured out how to do from within themselves. Which at least to me makes sense, since women with the same interests as mine are surrounded by men all the time everyday, and so the confident well adjusted women have the metaphorical pick of the litter and probably end up with one of the few not problematic men in that space that are also well adjusted.

I am well aware it’s far more complicated than that, and that women face a number of other struggles, but Game Theory does still very much apply, and so as I was saying before despite all of the rhetoric about equity, I still have to play by the old rules while somehow also playing by the new ones at the same time.

It’s exhausting.

That’s easier said than done. I have a passport, but a lot of countries are still pretty hard to get a job in as a foreigner even with a skill set that is in demand. I have actually been looking for a while. It’s not easy.

How do I leave?

Living in the thick of it and that’s how I feel 😮‍💨.

All I can say is that in my professional career where I have to write technical reports and summarize technical information I would never represent it that way, and I would be concerned if a colleague, customer, or supplier did it even if they were communicating it to a non technical audience. I would also call out my employer or management if they ever tried to change the representation of the data to something like this.

That could say more about me than anything else, but that’s where I am at.

But centigrade isn’t a measure of absolute units and is disingenuous. Using your argument it requires the consumer/reader to make a number of inferences or assumptions which isn’t a good method of communication in general. It is perfectly valid to say that the cooler took CPU temperatures from 70°C to 35°C.

Why not just say that. It’s an impressive stat!

Scales exist for a reason. Cutting 70°C in half is by definition -101.5°C. But let’s assumed somehow everyone is on the same page and that anything below 0°C should just be ignored in this specific scenario and not any other (confusing right?), saying the temperature was cut in half is still confusing! Half from where? Did it go from 20°C to 10°C? From 80°C to 40°C? It just doesn’t mean anything and as said before I would argue just stating the numbers is more impressive and informative.

Are we talking about me specifically or people in general? I’ll assume general as I was just relaying a personal anecdote to show that my point/thesis wasn’t just a hypothetical as I do know how to get around it in my specific case.

In the general context, that’s not a great solution for most people as it is beyond their skill or time set. For the most disadvantaged people just having the ability to have a phone at all and a place to reliably charge it is an issue. There is also the issue is practicality. When I take public transit where I live, the app pulls up a QR code on my phone they gets scanned. I’m not even sure I could fit my laptop screen into the space to scan the QR code if I was emulating Android.

So I guess my thesis here is that systems should be made more accessible and inclusive rather than requiring those in the minority to either have to put more effort in using a workaround to reach functional parity or end up left out all together.

Unfortunately yes, and I would go even a step further and say a smart phone is a basic necessity. More and more companies and even government services are operating on the assumption that everyone has a smart phone. I have encountered various services where if a person didn’t have a smart phone they literally can’t use it. I even have personal experience with it.

My landlord uses a company for payments that can only be interacted with via an app on a smart phone. There is no web portal option. There is no option to mail a check. There is no option to setup a direct bank transfer. I was essentially strong armed into it since the place itself was (and still is) better than almost anything else I saw and is a reasonable price.