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Cake day: June 12th, 2023

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  • Cade@beehaw.orgtoLGBTQ+@beehaw.orgWhy We Hate Bi Men
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    11 months ago

    I don’t care how many times people explain to me that “kill all men” doesn’t actually mean kill all men. It still hurts. Ever since I transitioned, I’ve noticed the casual misandry thrown about everywhere like it’s not a big deal, but it’s a big deal to me. “All men are trash” includes me.

    I’ve always had an issue with the idea that generalizations are okay. If “all men are trash” actually means “the patriarchy is trash”, just say that. I understand a lot of it as simply venting, but it’s almost never constructive or helpful, and it certainly isn’t fun to hear as a trans dude. Hell, part of the reason it took so long for me to accept myself as a man is because of this kind of rhetoric.

    I hope it gets better, because it does feel very alienating whenever I encounter it. I want to be a part of queer spaces, but it’s hard when you feel hated.



  • I mean, that’s up to you. But I guarantee you will both feel better and maybe help save the world if you try doing something beyond getting angry and then disassociating.

    Consider the fact that headlines that instill fear and doom work against us. What use is trying if it’s all fucked anyway? The thing is it isn’t over until it’s over. I can’t make you have hope, but hopefully you can come to realize that hope does a lot more for us than giving up. If you can envision a better future, you can work towards it! You can help advocate in your local Citizen’s Climate Lobby chapter, develop a good garden for local wildlife and pollinators, or even just helping others be aware of the issue can help. There’s no one coming to save us, so it’s up to us to save ourselves.

    Or you can just get angry and do nothing.

    I understand the anxiety. I was frozen from it for a long time. But what helped more than anything else was simply going outside and tending a garden. Find a love for the life on this planet, and try to protect it. There’s so much worth fighting for.











  • I agree. But, for the sake of just exploring the thought process… IF the idea of trans women absolutely dominating cis women in sports were accurate (which does not seem to be the case), it would be something to discuss from a good faith perspective. Should we pivot to weight classes? Should there be a trans lady league? How do nonbinary folks fit in to this whole thing? Sports are inherently unfair, but that doesn’t mean there’s no room to talk about how we want sports to be.

    It’s really exhausting when every aspect of your life as a trans person has become politicized, because there are differences between cis and trans people generally, and they are worth talking about. Maybe one day discussions can be had that aren’t simply thinly veiled transphobic talking points.