I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I’ve tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering… is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

  • can@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    You have more experiences, true, but some things can help you feel like you’re experiencing them for the first time. Any experience with psychedelics?

    • ∟⊔⊤∦∣≶@lemmy.nz
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      1 year ago

      Psychedelics made me realise i had forgotten the novelty of childhood. If i had never tried them, maybe id never have realised…

    • toastio@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      Psychedelics have helped me to retain those feelings long after the trip has ended (some indefinitely, at least at time of writing this). I never appreciated a cool breeze until one of those experiences (I always wanted to cover up and shield myself from it before). Now, whenever I feel a cold wind or cool breeze, I appreciate it so much more because of that past experience.