So I’m fairly social for someone like me and have done my fair share of talking to people as well as toward people, some talks being more passionate than others, so I guess having my odds of this reduced is a factor here when I say occasionally “projecting” will be brought up during a conversation. One should “stop projecting” they might say. It’s always in an accusatory kind of context, with being described a certain way by someone else often being connected to the latter person fitting what they’re thinking of.
Is this… a meme for a lack of a better word? Where does this conceivably come from? Seeing such a thing all the time, I can’t fathom the mindset, it seems so faulty my mind groups it in with grievance misapplication. Why would someone play hot potato with things even deemed to be things nobody should be handling like it’s second nature? How could someone in control subconsciously see instinct in this? What happened the last time this came up for you, when did it turn out to be the case?
Why is it seen so often in discussions of psychology, which make it out like it’s that kind of phenomenon?
It is an actual phenomenon in psychology, where you assign a set of your attributes that you consider undesirable to another person. It works like a defence mechanism to stabilise the psyche. It is not that commonly discussed though - except perhaps in psychoanalysis.
And that’s exactly why those “keyboard psychologists” (who are neither psychologists, nor informed laymen) repurposed the term into the “no u!” defence that I mentioned. It’s simply too good of an excuse when someone criticises them, an easy way to turn the criticism against the critic.
That’s the other confusing part to me. I might be of a scrutinizing nature, but the part of me that is able to put myself in others’ shoes cannot imagine for the life of me the act of projection as a psychological urge. As I think of that, one of two thoughts either come to mind, that either this is another instance of the phenomenon of Stockholme Syndrome (which only pop psychologists are saying is that common) or it’s one of those obscure neurodivergent phenomena (not saying that as a form of judgment, just that maybe, I think, their inner workings work differently enough for it to be a thing).
Coming from someone who values her tactical side, dare I say projection seems maladaptive if I’m underestimating its social value, like it’s another instance of how sarcasm took centuries to become normalized as an oral literary device.