Yeah I know dating apps bad etc

I paid 17 dollars for the week pass allowing me unlimited likes 💀 of course because I’m desperate and they force you into that choice because using it for free you only get 5 free likes a day lmao. The problem is NOBODY fucking responds back to my messages, I’ve had 2 conversations out of 20 matches, one of the convos died after I asked them out, the other convo just ended abruptly for no apparent reason. It’s really demoralizing to say the least but I just don’t understand, if they don’t like me and accidentally sent a like they should just unmatch right away but they don’t.

The future is grim. How does anyone meet anyone anymore?

        • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          2 months ago

          I been doing that although I pay less. I gotta say I’ve met a lot of people that way at least In the gym, haven’t really met up with them outside of it but I’m always talking to people and and meeting people there

          • hogslayer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            2 months ago

            I gotta say I’ve met a lot of people that way at least In the gym

            My gym seems to be a completely non-social place. I’ve been going like 3-6 times a week for nearly 2 years and not one person has tried to strike up a conversation with me.

            It sucks because it’s like the one public place other than grocery shopping that I go regularly, is fun to go to, etc. But it seems either nobody goes there to socialize or I’m too unattractive for anyone to talk to me.

            • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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              2 months ago

              Climbing gym or regular gym? Bouldering -> very social. Any other gym -> least social thing ever.

              If you’ re bouldering it’s so easy to strike up conversation with people who are working on the same problems as you.

              Separately I can’t really comment on how you look obviously. I do however think that like, pretty much everyone benefits from trying to dress well in clothes that fit you, keep your hair well kept, trim nails, etc. I see your pronouns so like, I also think, as a woman, looks are less important than general vibe and confidence. Being confident is important. I care more about how a man makes me feel than how they look

              • hogslayer [he/him]@hexbear.net
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                2 months ago

                Climbing gym or regular gym? Bouldering -> very social. Any other gym -> least social thing ever.

                regular gym. why are they such un-social places? lol

                • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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                  2 months ago

                  Idk. Like, I barely look at anyone else in a regular gym. Everyone around me I see is listening to music and stuff. It just a very solo kinda thing unless you’re doing some group activity

        • SuperZutsuki [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          2 months ago

          I remember watching a short documentary on outdoor bouldering in NYC. I don’t remember which park but there was something to climb somewhere and the community was really cool.

      • Lerios [hy/hym]@hexbear.net
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        2 months ago

        i’ve heard about these and i’m interested. i’m not in the US but i am in a very large city, so they presumably exist, but i’ve no clue how to find one - fetlife was my only lead and that appears to be kind of dead. i picked up a flyer for a regularly scheduled kink party at pride, but that seems to be pretty intense and have a very high bar of entry (expensive elaborate dress code)

        if i can find them, would it be weird to go to one of those as a virgin? i don’t really know what i’m looking for or how to talk about some of these things 🙃 would it be safe to go alone as a visibly afab person?

        • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          2 months ago

          I’m not into my scene, just been to a few and know friends who go a lot. You should def try to find fem parties, they exist where I am. Also, just coincidence but I went to a queer POC one and most people there were AFAB surprisingly. But the hosts were also mostly AFAB and it was largely private invite only

          A lot of play parties are kinda private though since it needs to be a safe environment so you kinda just have to try and meet people in the scene. I didn’t try to look for any but because I gravitate to people/spaces with lots of queers, drugs, art, and neurodivergence, there was a lot of overlap with kinksters

          I don’t think it’d be weird to go to one as a virgin. Actual penetrative sex and even oral sex in my area at least is rare since kink/play is much more expressive and varied than typical sex acts