Someone I know shows stuff such as:

  • constantly needing a scapegoat
  • shifting blame/cannot take accountability
  • exaggerated mindset, often where other people are useless and they are the greatest
  • has to maintain a very positive public image, such as being the absolute best
  • does not have empathy unless it involves them or impacts their image in some way, if their image is supposed to be empathetic they will act so because of their image
  • lacks empathy for people in pain/bad mental health/etc. but their image might be very upset about that
  • will often be very nice to people in any sort of power

I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious if I should help, and maybe that even if they exhibit negative behaviors, they’re not a completely TERRIBLE person despite how they treat me.

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Sounds like classic Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I loathe saying that because people throw the word around for any rude behavior. Don’t listen to me, here’s the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5 (DSMV) official description:

    as signified by the existence of any 5 of the next 9 standards (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):

    • A grandiose logic of self-importance
    • A fixation with fantasies of infinite success, control, brilliance, beauty, or idyllic love
    • A credence that he or she is extraordinary and exceptional and can only be understood by, or should connect with, other extraordinary or important people or institutions
    • A desire for unwarranted admiration
    • A sense of entitlement
    • Interpersonally oppressive behavior
    • No form of empathy
    • Resentment of others or a conviction that others are resentful of him or her
    • A display of egotistical and conceited behaviors or attitudes

    I would add:

    • An inability to admit they are wrong under any circumstance.

    Perhaps the other line items cover that?

    My mother hit hard on 4-6 of those items, so I do have some experience with the type. Sometime in my early 40s I realized I had never heard the woman admit to being wrong, or state an apology, ever, not once. Kinda freaked me out to muse on that.

    I have no idea how to help such a person. How do you help someone whose very personality hinges on the idea that they’re already perfect? It would be telling to have them read the above and see if they find any of that in themselves. No? LOL, that’s a clue.

    • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I love that we both posted pretty much the exact same thing at the same time. Are you my brother? 😂

    • MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Your added bit is inaccurate and would cause people with NPD to overlook their problem because many can admit being wrong when indisputably proven so.