GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.
what really blew up the hospital was the friends we made along the way
well played. uptoot for you!
uptoot
Why have you done this?
Damn the Onion is on fire lately.
So is Gaza.
Shit sorry I knew I should have eaten less beans last night
I suspected me all along. The signs were all there.
When the story was that this was a lethal attack by the IDF with hundreds of casualties, there was nothing funny about this. Now that most credible sources in the first world agree that the IDF was probably not at fault for this particular atrocity (yeah yeah death to the first world and hail Xi & Putin etc, if you’re one of those people just kindly stop reading), now it’s suddenly time to turn this into a joke and short-circuit people’s critical thinking. “ha ha, ‘we didn’t do it’, sounds like a made up claim that the person who did it would say”. What a genius master stroke of insight.
You know what, I now have newfound respect for the people who at least put in the work to argue that the rocket geolocations were fabricated, the Hamas operative convo discussing the malfunctioning rocket was by paid actors, etc etc. At least they are making an argument, which a reader can evaluate and decide whether they believe. This headline is exactly as productive as if they’d written “Hamas reports deadly Israeli airstrike with 3000 victims at the house of You, The Reader”. What a disgrace.
Someone’s heated that everyone knows their favorite genocidal ethnostate did the thing they said they would do.
It’s the Onion, bro. It’s satire. Why you so mad?
The evidence is pretty overwhelming at this point that it was not an Israeli airstrike, and was most likely a failed missile from Hamas. I say this as someone who considers both Hamas and the current right wing government of Israel to be terrorist organizations.
There have been plenty of actual crimes committed by Israel in this war and many more in the years leading up to it. It just doesn’t look like this is one of them.
If you actually buy the US-Isreali line on this, I simply don’t know what to tell you. The Isreali defence minister called Palestinians animals, said that they shouldn’t distinguish between Hamas and any other Palestinian, and have spent the last 2 weeks indiscrimiately bombing the strip, airstriking ambulances, bombing crossings, double and triple-tapping apartment buildings, striking aid convoys, bombing critical infrastructure, displacing a million people, and bombing captive Isrealis.
Meanwhile, this “It was actually a Hamas rocket that blew up” line has been played and debunked a thousand other times in a thousand other Isreali atrocities, and I will bet you any amount of money that it turns out it was them.
Read my comment again. I’m no Israeli apologist and yeah, they have committed many war crimes and atrocities. That doesn’t automatically mean that they did this. If Israel were to shot a missile at the hospital, they would hit the hospital, not the parking lot. If an Israeli missile hit the parking lot, the clay tiles on the hospital roof wouldn’t be intact. Based on Israeli drone footage that matches up with Palestinian photographs, this explosion was almost certainly not an Israeli missile.
Just assuming the worst of Israel in every case does not make you an effective critic of Israel. It just feeds the Israeli narrative that their critics are just biased by antisemitism. There is no shortage of confirmed atrocities to blame them for, including the settlements that keep inflaming this conflict.
Israel was photographed loading dumb bombs on their jets the day before this. They are running low on guided options after using so many so fast.
Learn about how airbusrst has different effects than a standard ground burst. Then ask yourself why you wish to believe the stronger military force didn’t cause a huge explosion, when the weaker military force has no known capabilities to make such an explosion.
lmao kindly name the type of military hardware Hamas has that could have caused that explosion. I’ll wait.
An R160. You seem to imply that the explosion was particularly devastating, but it really wasn’t - at least not in comparison to what Israel is using. The clay tile roof of the hospital next to the parking lot that got hit was intact. A JDAM shockwave would almost certainly have shattered those tiles.
lmao an R160 managed to kill 500 people when one has literally never managed to even kill 10 before? Come on. You’re not even subjecting these claims to basic common sense.
PS: It was likely an antipersonnel munition, and it burst in the air; the tiles are irrelevant, you credulous fool.
What 500 people? That is entirely unconfirmed, you incredulous fool.
You act like I’m an Israeli apologist, and I’m not. Fuck Israel. They are ultimately at fault for creating and infling this conflict. If anything, I side with the Palestinians, though not Hamas. Still, I’m going to judge the mechanics of particular incidents on their own merits.
No one who believes the (absurd and obviously false, in this case) lies of genocidal monsters is on the side of the Palestinians, full stop, especially if you think it’s wrong for Hamas to use violence against the oppressors.
PS: I love how you’re more ready to be skeptical of Palestinians claims about number of deaths than you are of Israeli claims of innocence.
