Walking (just for fun without the need to get somewhere specific), and to a lesser extent hanging around at modern (read: well-visited) cafes while reading a book. I actually go out quite a lot for someone who has 2 jobs, which makes the quest all the more frustrating.
Find a hobby that allows you to interact with other people. Both walking and reading a book in a cafe are solitary activities unless you make them otherwise.
You can join a walking club, though I think you will find those are typically for people who are older. You can also join a book club.
Once you are naturally getting out of the house and meeting new people with common interests, you will find it easier to meet potential partners who share your interests. But do not go into these situations hunting for a date. Get comfortable with the groups, get a feel for the vibe. Get to know the people, contribute to the group and let them get to know you. Then you can consider whether it’s the right time, place, person to approach for a meeting outside the club.
This is a longer term strategy, but I think you will find your results are higher quality.
Apps and meeting people at bars are like closing your eyes and throwing a dart at a board. Clubs and groups that revolve around your interest give you pretense to get to know people and for them to get to know you, resulting in higher quality dates.
Also, don’t be discouraged if you show up to these groups and there’s nobody you’d be interested in. Think of this as an investment in your social and mental health. Maybe one of the people in the group becomes a friend and introduces you to someone. Maybe someone joins the group later.
Biggest pro tip: if you have an interest that you want to engage in with other people, and there isn’t a club in your area for it (or the existing clubs suck), start your own club.
Think of it as “product placement” where you are the product. The kind of person you want to meet… where are they spending their time? Wherever that is, you should be there, so they can find you.
Think someone is really attractive when they’re doing public speaking? Go to Toastmasters. Really love someone who is competitive but good-natured? Check out a board game group. Want a fit person? Hit the gym.
The key thing, again similar to the other commenter, is to say hi to everyone. It’s tough, especially if social activity drains you, but you can make a pattern and habits out of it. Get to know a bunch of people. Make good impressions. When it eventually gets out that you’re single, someone will be like, “so I know this person…”
In any case, you’re awesome. Good luck finding your awesome other half
Edit: also along the lines of product placement, make sure you’re an appealing product: good hygiene, good enough style/fashion, proper social behaviors, etc. Not saying I’m perceiving you having problems with this, but I’ve seen many people complain about not finding someone when they look, smell, and behave like they’ve been living in a sewer the past decade.
Focus on making a good friend group (I know almost as hard as dating). You’ll meet friends of friends, which is where all the good dating prospects be in my experience. Friends first, the rest will come.
I think it’s called “outside.”
Believe me, I’m trying. So. F*****g. Hard.
What are your hobby activities that get you out of the house?
Walking (just for fun without the need to get somewhere specific), and to a lesser extent hanging around at modern (read: well-visited) cafes while reading a book. I actually go out quite a lot for someone who has 2 jobs, which makes the quest all the more frustrating.
Find a hobby that allows you to interact with other people. Both walking and reading a book in a cafe are solitary activities unless you make them otherwise.
You can join a walking club, though I think you will find those are typically for people who are older. You can also join a book club.
Once you are naturally getting out of the house and meeting new people with common interests, you will find it easier to meet potential partners who share your interests. But do not go into these situations hunting for a date. Get comfortable with the groups, get a feel for the vibe. Get to know the people, contribute to the group and let them get to know you. Then you can consider whether it’s the right time, place, person to approach for a meeting outside the club.
This is a longer term strategy, but I think you will find your results are higher quality.
Apps and meeting people at bars are like closing your eyes and throwing a dart at a board. Clubs and groups that revolve around your interest give you pretense to get to know people and for them to get to know you, resulting in higher quality dates.
Hell of an answer, thanks.
Also, don’t be discouraged if you show up to these groups and there’s nobody you’d be interested in. Think of this as an investment in your social and mental health. Maybe one of the people in the group becomes a friend and introduces you to someone. Maybe someone joins the group later.
Biggest pro tip: if you have an interest that you want to engage in with other people, and there isn’t a club in your area for it (or the existing clubs suck), start your own club.
It’s worth adding another spin to this.
Think of it as “product placement” where you are the product. The kind of person you want to meet… where are they spending their time? Wherever that is, you should be there, so they can find you.
Think someone is really attractive when they’re doing public speaking? Go to Toastmasters. Really love someone who is competitive but good-natured? Check out a board game group. Want a fit person? Hit the gym.
The key thing, again similar to the other commenter, is to say hi to everyone. It’s tough, especially if social activity drains you, but you can make a pattern and habits out of it. Get to know a bunch of people. Make good impressions. When it eventually gets out that you’re single, someone will be like, “so I know this person…”
In any case, you’re awesome. Good luck finding your awesome other half
Edit: also along the lines of product placement, make sure you’re an appealing product: good hygiene, good enough style/fashion, proper social behaviors, etc. Not saying I’m perceiving you having problems with this, but I’ve seen many people complain about not finding someone when they look, smell, and behave like they’ve been living in a sewer the past decade.
Support groups work really well. Citation: Fight Club.
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Focus on making a good friend group (I know almost as hard as dating). You’ll meet friends of friends, which is where all the good dating prospects be in my experience. Friends first, the rest will come.