It’s clearly Gen Z’s turn to have endless articles written about them just existing as it feels natural to them.
Millennials, we can kick up our feet. No longer are we “destroying the housing market” or whatever bullshit the rich felt like blaming on us.
i think the guardian is blowing a subsection of gen z way outta proportion here
yeah there’s a loneliness epidemic caused by the internet and capitalism alienating the shit outta us but having a “no thank you” trait list is healthy and normal (even if my grumpy old ass thinks “ick list” sounds fucking juvenile)
Sadly the examples provided show the person icking them is more of an ick than the trait they icked.
There are a couple things on that list that don’t seem like deal breakers to me, but the majority of them seem pretty reasonable.
“Oh no! Young people have higher standards and might end up waiting until they’re more mature to start dating! Whatever shall we do?”
Read the first few paragraphs. Everything in there is fairly reasonable. Many of the things on the “ick list” are big red flags that any reasonable person should avoid.
So very reasonable…
- doesn’t travel enough
- has no skincare routine
- is an unsuccessful DJ
- is embarrassed to do karaoke
- if he’s saving himself for marriage.
Did we even read the same opening paragraph?
I can’t believe being a failed DJ made your list of unreasonable red lines.
It’s not? Those are examples listed in the article.
That you are highlighting as unreasonable right? That’s the whole point of that comment. Clearly.
Not sure we read the same paragraph cause pretty much all of these are reasonable.
- spits on the ground
- disrespectful of other people
- can’t cook
- lack of interest in self improvement, potential burden
- lies about his height
- insecure and dishonest
- identifies as apolitical
- probably a conservative
- doesn’t travel enough
- misaligned goals/lacking interest in the world around them and in other cultures
- weird about other men wearing makeup (“like, K-pop idols”)
- insecure/antiquated or traditional gender norms
- says he wants a “slightly autistic woman”
- rude
- has no skincare routine
- doesn’t care about their long term health/potentially dirty
- likes songs that got famous on TikTok
- no personal interests, tastes, or introspection
- doesn’t call his parents
- this is the only one I don’t really get as there are plenty of reasons not to call one’s parents. I’m guessing they met someone who without a perceived excuse showed they had trouble keeping relationships with those in their life.
- sniffs every five seconds
- annoying behavior with potential to grow into spite
- is an unsuccessful DJ
- unwilling to pursue self improvement/unlikely to be able to care for themselves or others
- is embarrassed to do karaoke
- misaligned interests/insecure
- he’s saving himself for marriage
- conservative
Most of these seem like something someone they’d met previously did which led to greater issues down the road. They don’t want to deal with it again so they’ve identified some early warning signs to help them navigate in an analytical fashion. Besides, at least this case is operating on a “3 strike basis” so if you have a steady job and just moonlight as a failed DJ you still have a chance.
You are reaching so hard there with those excuses.
- doesn’t travel enough: Poverty.
- has no skincare routine: So? We don’t need to buy into the beauty industry.
- is an unsuccessful DJ: Failing at something is not a bad thing, we all fail at times.
- is embarrassed to do karaoke: Could easily be neurrodiverse or just socially anxious.
- if he’s saving himself for marriage: Religion is their choice, not every religious person is a conservative.
Neither of us know the background that led to any of these being added to their ick list. I provided reasons why those might be on the list.
When you are seeking a partner it’s completely natural to find someone with shared interests, cleanliness expectations, and socioeconomic and religious backgrounds. That’s all the list is.
And yeah, religion is a personal choice, but if that doesn’t mesh with your partner there’s gonna be trouble and “saving yourself for marriage” is a conservative religious take. Maybe they just wanted to have sex before marriage and the other person was incompatible, or maybe they didn’t want to be in a hierarchical relationship with the expectation that they be submissive to their partners whims and recognized that their partner’s “saving themselves for marriage” was an early indicator of that regressive behavior. Either way it’s an incompatibility that was recognized and added to the list.
- spits on the ground
Having standards is good, but ….
the checklist on her Notes app that she references whenever she starts seeing someone new.
Reducing the real world to a dating app? Ick
The Notes app is where you can write notes like a journal it’s not a dating app.
I was comparing keeping a checklist of shallow attributes to “swipe left” on a date in real life, to a dating app.
Trying to distill your likes down to a checklist is missing out on the reality of whether you’re compatible.
That article was so full of buzz words I found it basically illegible. However this part did tickle me a bit:
The Cut recently surveyed 100 men and found many were cutting women off for their own icks: “because she was a picky eater, she was too into Burning Man, she didn’t like the book Nickel and Dimed, she deleted his ex’s profile from his Nintendo Switch,” EJ Dickson reported.
The popularity of dating apps has proven that it is the preferred way for the vast majority of people meet. This is true for Millennials as well.
The solution is regulating dating apps so they are forced to transparently match people instead of try to squeeze money out of them.
Tinder should unironically be nationalized and ran as a public service because before corporations enshittified their dating apps the apps actually worked well.
23 year old? Yeah, I was probably this stupid as a 23 year old. This is nothing new. Fun article to read and will probably continue to amplify the idea of a male only loneliness epidemic that only seems to exist online. Young folks I meet in real life are quite normal and quirky.
