I have a few.
Camera shuttering sounds. I don’t need to hear your camera, dude. Yeah I know most porn is produced and exploited but, don’t need to hit it home doing this. Here is what I don’t get, why not use inexpensive drone cameras to take footage or take shots? Who the fuck needs stupid people doing it?
Cameramen muffled or hearing. I don’t need to hear you either. I don’t give a fuck if you’re enjoying it, just shut the hell up.
Sped-up previews or even sped-up videos because reasons? It just takes me out of the immersion, if there were any to be had.
Exaggerated sounds and moans. “UNNHHH!” “AHHH!!” “HNNN!” “OOOOOO!” slrshrlshlp splsplslspl moist sounds Just fucking mute it. Don’t watch porn for audio.
Seeing that guy in a scene. You know, that awkward fucking guy who is part of the scene who just idly stands there just jerking off all like “nhhn yeah hrrr yeah oh so into this” I want a series of porn videos, where it is just beating that guy down.
Choking. I spend a fair amount of time in kink clubs, and the choking you see casually thrown into random porn would get you thrown out of all of them; including the ones that allow choking.
Love being online, where people can casually say “I spend a fair about of time in kink clubs” and nobody bats an eyelid.
Just the fakeness of it
This. Anything that looks like pro porn actors, high quality expensive filming equipment, “scenes”, etc – all that is instant limp-dick.
The best is when a totally amateur person/couple/group have hi-rez, hi-quality 60 FPS cam and are naturally exhibitionists and sexual freaks.
Support small time pr0n producers! Fight corporatism!
All the stupid “step-sis/bro” crap. I don’t need some disgusting back story just get busy.
There’s been an alarming rate of people who are into incest. Like, the lengths they’ll go to try and watch things that consist of actual relatives.
I don’t get it. Well okay, maybe except already inbred cousin-fuckers, but I don’t get how any rational or normal person could be into it.
Disingenuous love or none at all.
Overly produced.
"“Sssss, haahhh”
Doesn’t care about woman’s pleasure. Blowjob leads right into sex.
She’s obviously dry.
The cum is fake.
The guy is half hard pushing rope while she’s pretending too hard that it feels good.
Circumcised penis, especially if it’s an oral video.
Gambling site ads embedded in a video.
A grainy video shot on a tripod with no studio lights with people who actually like each other is better than 95% of the garbage that gets posted. I prefer erotica written for men over videos. Even when it’s written cheesy it’s still better than most videos.
Spitting. It grosses me out so bad when people spit in each other’s faces or mouths. Ugh.
Professional porn is also unappealing. Anything that feels fake.
When guys refer to their body parts by female terms (like a guy saying “fuck my pussy,” “make me pregnant” et cetera).
When they are clearly on meth
Anytime the girl looks like she’s not actually enjoying the sex. Fake or dubbed sound. Choking or slapping (see first item).
I also usually find any talking (sexy talk) to be awful. I don’t have a problem with it in concept, but in porn execution, it’s almost always super bad. Camera man talking is universally bad.
High Definition video Is the single worst thing to happen to porn. I need a little bit of mystery, who actually wants video fidelity so high you can see every skin tag and ingrown hair?
Male moans, it’s why when I do watch porn I watch it muted, don’t have this issue with doujins and fics.
Males suck at moaning, they just do.
Should’ve been clue number 1 I wasn’t male.
Aaaahhhhhhh. Sssssssssss. Aaaahhhhhhhh. Sssssssssss. Aaaaahhhhhhhh.
I mostly dislike professional porn except on the odd occasion. In amateur porn, my biggest gripe is people who clearly did not check the angle or distance of the camera before recording, so 90% of the video is the dude’s thigh moving back and forth.
Even the under-the-balls angle is better. At least I like the balls sometimes.
Removed by mod
fucking hell you can tell this person has never had sex, who the hell wants to have hair in their mouth when giving a blowjob?
I forgot to floss.
shouldn’t there be an nsfw tag on this?
you don’t know where they work
Fun fact:
Back during the dotcom boom I met a guy in San Francisco who worked fixing bugs in Netscape’s rendering engine.
He said ~80% of the problem reports were from porn sites complaining that their page didn’t work properly in NS but worked fine in IE.
So yeah he spent all day on porn sites, making them better for the rest of us.
True hero.
Don’t scroll Lemmy at work.
The content is apparent from the title, plus the nsfw tag is only really useful on media imo. Opening a lewd pic on the bus because it wasn’t tagged is not the same thing as opening a text thread
All that annoying nudity.
CFNM
Having human beings and being live action.
I initially read this as “halving human beings” and was like, wtf bro?!?
I mean… If someone was cut in half during your porn, would you not lose your boner?
honestly pretty much the same here
Cocks. I don’t like to see them.
Anything that plays at being gross. Like ass eating. Talking about family members. Like this girl really doesn’t want to mess with her father or her brother, but Game of Thrones was huge so everyone wants to play into it. Kills the mood instantly. Just not into it. Even if it’s two chicks, if they’re pretending to be sisters or mother/daughter, it just kills it. Most people aren’t into that for real, but "I wouldn’t want to bang my sister but I want to watch you bang yours… to me it’s the same.
Anything that plays at it being an ad. Teasing. Reference to commercial sites. “Only Fans.” Back in the day, we kind of had a renaissance. Anyone with a camera could upload. Yeah occasionally you got teenagers doing dumb shit and if you suspected it, you didn’t look at that. But a lot of college age couples were just having fun, fooling around, good times. A lot of those videos aren’t in anything close to HD though, but are still worth watching from time to time.
I think porn is probably best watched without volume, anyway. Ass eating doesn’t bother me like it once did. About the time I tried it and it wasn’t gross, the scenes stopped bothering me. But there’s not really anything you can do to an ass that I wouldn’t rather watch being done to a pussy. It’s just not fetishistic to me. I just do it for my wife every now and then because I like variety and it’s another way to please a woman.
Hell I’d rather eat an ass than fuck it because the surface can be all clean but I’m scared of going deep and finding out I’m not alone in there.
Anyway, sorry, you probably don’t appreciate this reply, but you motivated it and it would be weird to just announce all that out of the blue.
