There has to be a better system than this.

  • Perhapsjustsniffit@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    8 months ago

    Here’s a hot take. Do what you want when you are young. Find a way. I spent my 20’s moving around, having shitty but fun jobs. I travelled. Saw all kinds of places and met all sorts of people. It wasn’t easy and sometimes it wasn’t fun. I found myself homeless even several times. I still wouldn’t change any of it. I found a wonderful partner and we moved together for a while before settling and having kids.

    In my early 40s I was diagnosed with a really rare cancer that paralyzed me from the chest down for a year prior to surgery and left lasting disabilities following. Now in my 50’s with declining health I am so glad I lived. It means I don’t have a lot of things others have but I’ve never cared much for the Jones’ anyway. If Cancer taught me anything it’s fuck society and their expectations. Do you. Find a way. Be happy.

    • ____@infosec.pub
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      8 months ago

      Would love to talk further with you. Mid 40s, narcolepsy, and some doubt that I’ll make it to retirement age in a way that makes SSA pay meaningfully.

      Struggling thru the next twenty or so years seems like hell. Love my job, but doesn’t make up for the mess that is life for me.

      On top of that, I made promises to my wife of fifteeen years, back when, and I’m bent on keeping them.

      My disease is hardly akin to cancer, but I think you have some collected wisdom that would make a meaningful differentlce in our lives.

  • hightrix@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    8 months ago

    The alternative is much worse. I don’t want to be poor and/or homeless. I want to be able to take vacations and not worry about surprise expenses. I want to actually be able to retire someday.

    The alternative is a much harder life to live, in my opinion. For me, giving up 40ish hours a week for the peace of mind it worth it. Yes, work is not how I’d prefer to spend my time, but it allows me to spend the rest of my time doing as I’d please.

  • misterundercoat@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    8 months ago

    Don’t wait until retirement. Balance your life now. It’s going to be a long slog.

    You don’t need to find an amazing career that you’ll love doing until you die. People who get that are extremely lucky, and it’s not the norm. You just need a job that will support you while still giving you time to do the things you enjoy.

    Follow this: https://youtu.be/YHxwY3Fz2gU?feature=shared

    • whoisearth@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      8 months ago

      As I tell my kids repeatedly. I am the exception not the rule!

      It’s so bloody annoying a 13 year old is supposed to know what they want to do with their life. I fell into my career in IT at 25 after dropping out of college twice, running my own business unsuccessfully and generally doing my best to survive. Now I make 150k which is both too much and not enough money.

      Point being, do what’s right for you and only you.

  • FeloniousPunk@lemmy.today
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    8 months ago

    Eventually you get to the point where you age-out of joy. I mean, sure, you try to throw yourself into your work, try to squeeze some semblance of satisfaction out of that dried raisin of a career. But it’s never the same as it used to be. It’s hollow, just like you, and you hate all of it. But what else are you gonna do? So you do your time and go home and stare at the wall; you have no desire to watch tv because it’s all the same bullshit you’ve seen for years. When you do watch tv, usually with your spouse who is little more than a grumpy roommate now. The tv screen is transparent, and you see nothing but the studs in the wall. The family mills about, completely clueless to the misery you are living. Sure you laugh, but it’s without the twinkle in your eye that you once had. You tend to spend a lot more time in the bathroom staring at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself you want to blow your brains out, but never do. Sometimes you cry in isolation. Most of the time you are numb and you sit there in silence. Otherwise, you pretend to do stuff until nightfall. Finally. You down some sleeping pills, go to bed early, doom-scroll for a few hours until the meds kick in. Lights out. You wake a few hours later, before the rest of the fucking world it seems, muttering the word “fuck”. Not with the frolicking fun connotation of youth, but in utter despair that you awoke at all. Again. So you drag yourself to that mirror, brushing your teeth, put on that hollow smile and start the day over. repeat. And again. And again.

    I’m sorry, what was the question?

  • Malfeasant@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    8 months ago

    I slack. Oh boy do I slack. I’d work so harder if I thought I would actually get something for it. In fact, when I started my latest job, I was doing just that, because it seemed this company was different, and it’s something I’m naturally good at. Got commended by my boss about how much I was doing, how quickly I was learning, how in a year I had already surpassed the next most recent hire that had been there for 2 years… Then time came for my review, and it was a “meets expectations”. Like wtf do I have to do to exceed expectations? Then not long after, they started denying me time off, saying I had taken too much. Supposedly we had unlimited PTO, of which I had taken 2 weeks so far that year (1 week in March, the rest just single days here and there), and my request was for a week in July… Anywho long story short, I’ve pretty much figured out exactly how much I have to fake being busy to not get negative attention, and I do that. I milk cases for all they’re worth. And I’m still getting more done than half my colleagues. I hate it, but it pays decently, so I have a hard time throwing it away for something that might be more fulfilling, but doesn’t pay as well…

  • Lonnie123@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    8 months ago

    For me, I look to the past to see what life could have been like were I born 100 - 200 -500 - 1,000 years ago and try to find the positives that being born now has.

    And the reality is that even as soon as 100 years ago life was much, much harder and worse in almost every metric. Brutal jobs, brutal hours, with safety of no concern, even if you were a child. Housing? You were lucky if you could heat your home in some way in the winter, and air conditioning didnt even exist yet. Physical labor jobs were a large amount of the work, so many people simple worked themselves into uselessness and then suffered the rest of their lives.

    It doesnt get much better going back further than that really. Plague anyone?

    Today we enjoy a massive, massive amount of comfort in our lives. Have amazing, tasty, and safe food at our fingertips almost without issue. Can travel the entire globe effortlessly when even a cross country trek could have been a multi-month brutal affair with a death sentence for half the travel party. Modern medicine eliminates so many of the issues of the past.

    In reality very few people “just” work for 40 years and then retire useless husks and then die. I suspect you spend some time with friends and loved ones, perhaps even travel and engage in leisure time kings and queens of 200 years ago couldnt dream of during those 40 years.

  • Chocrates@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    8 months ago

    Existential dread. I am not here to be a wage slave but I can’t figure out how to get out. I just drink a lot

  • MelodiousFunk@startrek.website
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    8 months ago

    Live with underlying existential dread for decades. Watch as “doing what you love” becomes “hating what you used to love because you’re forced to do it so that there’s enough numbers in the computer to prove that you’re worthy of continued existence.” Contemplate the pointlessness of it all on a daily basis. Be reminded that your feelings are invalid because “other people have it worse” every time the topic comes up. Nod listlessly as “successful” people tout their own hard work while ignoring any factor luck and privilege played, then tune out when they shift into the dissonant duet of “I succeeded because I am exceptional” and “anyone can do the same if they just work harder.”

    Wake up the next morning and realize there’s roughly 30 more years of this, barring a massive coronary or aneurism or something.

  • MNByChoice@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    8 months ago

    I hate it. I started learning about FIRE, Financial Independence, Retire Early. The great part is that you can do what you want, you just have to match your spending to your income.

    I hope for a better system for my kids’ friends. (My kids will have me guiding them.)

    • Cowbee [he/him]@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      8 months ago

      The chase to grind up from Proletarian to Petite Bourgeoisie to eventually Bourgeoisie just to escape the Capitalist hellhole is downright dystopian.

  • hollyberries@programming.dev
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    8 months ago

    I dealt with it by choosing to not have kids years ago. I didn’t ask to be born, and I refuse to force that on anyone else.

    Once things become too difficult, I’m pulling my own plug.

    • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      0
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      8 months ago

      How are you going to pull your own plug if the country you are in suddenly makes a law to prevent you from doing that?

      • JoBo@feddit.uk
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        8 months ago

        Laws against suicide are notoriously difficult to enforce, for obvious reasons.

      • hollyberries@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        8 months ago

        It already is illegal, and euthanasia while “tolerated” is also illegal to perform by a medical professional.

        What are they going to do, arrest a corpse? Fine by me.

        • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          8 months ago

          I’m not suicidal, but I have considered how nice it would be to diary in a date where I think “yep, i’ve had a titsful of life now, time to fuck off to sto’vo’kor” or whatever.

          The only thing that stops me taking it seriously is the prospect that it may be subjecting others to criminal investigation or court process.

        • aksdb@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          8 months ago

          Lock you up with suicide watch. So essentially sleep deprivation by keeping the lights on and checking up on you every 15 minutes.

  • FeelThePower@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    I simply work part time on purpose. I don’t have my own place (flatmates) so we all split the COL. It’s not truly freedom, but it feels a lot more free than when I worked full time. I usually have enough to save a little and also because of this I am able to travel a few times a year. But you have to be REALLY able to manage your finances to live like this. I have no credit card and prepay everything ahead of time. It leaves me with a lot more time to enjoy LIFE. and feel less constantly tired as well.

  • shplane@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    8 months ago

    Volunteer. The options are endless, you get to support your community and meet amazing people, and sometimes there’s lunch involved.

  • Azal@pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    8 months ago

    Lets be honest, my retirement plan is my corpse getting tossed in a dumpster.

  • JustMy2c@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    8 months ago

    I got out!

    Rented out my apt to others and the tiny difference to my advantage was enough to sustain myself in south America (working a bit and or volunteer or living in free housing(my ex’s)

    I now got some more money (sold the apt) and do holiday rentals here, but even without that it’s just few hundred per month for food and going out, maybe 95$ extra for social local Healthcare (for 2!)

    Don’t ever think you need to be a millionaire to get out. Government guaranteed bonds pay 9.5% per year.

    So each 10k usd you put in a guaranteed usd account = 87$ free money each month. Need 50k for bit over 400$/mo which is the local minimum wage. 100% government guaranteed (if you split in 2 banks)