My classics are:
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“what can I getcha; I can do a virgin screwdriver, a virgin appletini, a virgin vodka cranberry and we have a fine selection of pre-fermented wines.”
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(when giving liquid meds) “Now I do have salt but I’m fresh outta limes!”
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(when giving multiple containers of liquid meds) “will I be mixing these into a cocktail for you or do you want me to line em up like you’re 21 again?”
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“I just wanted to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.”
“Nurse. You have to land this plane.” In your most deadpan.
wait! don’t stop
I have to get a colonoscopy and now I want the doctor to do this. Either this or do a Jacques Cousteau impersonation as ventures into the depths.
they always do while you’re under anesthesia
How do you know?
It’s part of the package when you request a copy of the recording. You get to pick an impersonation of either Jacques Cousteau, Morgan Freeman, Werner Herzog, or Johnny Sins to narrate the procedure.
So a French who is obsessed with buttholes until the very end?
Too soon?
In the middle of a meeting with an international collaborator that came specifically to meet me, I stopped myself milliseconds before shouting “look, an airplane”
