Feelings I had for my classmate were obviously one-sided (pretty sure of it), so I made a reasonable decision to never confess to not make things awkward. In a few years since we graduated I finally moved on, although I never loved anyone this much since.
Yet all this time I had a desire to tell her about them. I would definitely want to know if someone loved me this much ever. Would she? I don’t know. I don’t even know if she is in a relationship right now or not.
I would really want to cite some scientific study that “Over 80% of girls have their self-confidence lifted after being told they were secretly admired (p<0.05)”, but can’t find one.
You provided no answer but “my experience tells me so”. No explanation, no proof, nothing. IDK, my experience tells me to reject bare appeals to authorutily, where even the level and source of your authority (age, sociological education maybe) wasn’t something you bothered to explain.
I provided you answers, you’re just not emotionally intelligent enough to recognize them or humble enough to accept them.
Listen.
Don’t tell her.
For your sake.
Good luck. You, specifically, are gonna need it.
I heard and counted your answer. Your answer was prefaced with a personal attack. You tried to invalidate the feelings I had and reflected on for years, the feelings that once motivated me to become a substantially better person, knowing me and the situation from a 726-character post. That personal attack was used as a part of your argument, so I found it reasonable to argue with it. By the number of downvotes, it seems the community largely agrees with the image you’ve got in your head, although I would argue you couldn’t have enough information from my post to make the loud claims you made.
How old are you, man? I’m guessing early 20s? You’re gonna find out the world doesn’t run on logic and you can’t always act on feelings impulsively
Yeah, I think this is something that ever gets truly registered in the naivety and confidence of a young adult’s mind, once it bites you in a consequential way.
Can’t talk for everyone here, but I definitely shared the hubris once, the lack of perspective, once upon a time when I was in my 20s. Based on all the late evenings spent recollecting past lives with so many different people through the years, I think it’s just being human, a shared experience, a trial of fire for adulthood, if you will.
To op: Worth listening to everyone here. It might not feel justified or reasonable to you now, but you might consider that all that might come from a place of experience and goodwill.
Great point. Man, I wish I would have known this in my 20’s. The world doesn’t run on logic, AND it can severely punish those who think it does. lol
But even in my 20’s I wasn’t quite as naive as OP seems to be based on his replies in this thread so far.