That was totally my dickhead Dad’s idea, btw. Not just the “stick your kid on a cross” idea, but sin itself. I mean, if you’re gonna create a universe filled with carnal desire, what damn right do you have to tell folks not to enjoy it?

Then, to top that absurd hypocrisy, he then goes around knocking up virgins under their fiance’s nose, declares the kid the king of the Jews (when there already IS a king who likes to behead prophets), and then tells the kid he’s gotta overthrown the Roman Empire… lemme just say I’ve considered patricide more than once.