• DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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        4 months ago

        It’s a realistic way to frame things.

        Do you do nice things for the reward or just to be nice? If it’s the latter, then the other person’s reaction shouldn’t matter. Letting it irritate you wastes your own energy for no purpose, and the other person will never know about it, you’ll just continue to seethe, which will be added to the next time it happens.

        That said, I do understand your frustration.

        • gueybana [any]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          If you understand my frustration then you can also understand that people do things just to be nice but are well within their right to feel disappointed by people who won’t acknowledge their gesture, who almost seem to think such a gesture is meaningless or furthermore entitled to it.

          I’ll keep doing nice things, and I’ll keep seething when people are rude in turn when I’m doing nice things, don’t put the moral failure on me.

          • DJDarren@thelemmy.club
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            4 months ago

            I don’t believe I’m putting a moral failing anywhere, but I’m sorry that what I said made you feel that way.

            The point I’m making is that none of us can control how others behave, and getting angry at them only serves to make us bitter. By disengaging our own feelings from this act, we can lead more content lives, and that’s helpful for our own mental health.

        • newmou [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          Quit being over analytical nerds. It’s a common courtesy to acknowledge someone doing something nice for you, and it’s totally normal to feel disappointed when that breaks down

        • gueybana [any]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          I take it you don’t acknowledge people doing polite things for you because you don’t owe them anything? Do you not appreciate when someone’s polite to you?

          • JayTwo [any]@hexbear.net
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            4 months ago

            Are you being polite to actually help?
            Or because you want a head pat?

            From my upbringing I’ve learned to stay far away from the latter.

            Editing to add context: When it comes to unhoused outreach the people in it for acknowledgement often become liabilities.

            • gueybana [any]@hexbear.net
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              4 months ago

              I guess it’s some sort of moral hurdle someone needs to pass when they do nice things for you and you don’t acknowledge them.