allthetimesivedied [they/them, she/her]

  • 15 Posts
  • 16 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: November 17th, 2023

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  • So yesterday I saw a ghost (not literally, of course): not my ex-friend, the one I’ll always remember, the one I was posting about a lot. Not them, but their on and off roommate of 7 years, their de facto best friend who I referred to in private as their “platonic boyfriend.” The one I said I was so jealous of.

    I was at the park. He came up and said hi (which is maybe a bit unusual because of how extremely shy he is—he used more words in that moment than I’ve heard him say the entire time I’ve known him).

    It was like all the shit with our (formerly) mutual friend had never happened. It’s entirely possible he has absolutely no idea. They said they hadn’t told him about any of it, when I asked just before the three of us went to Radical Pride, but that was a year ago.

    He had recently moved out, into an apartment. It’s probable they still aren’t roommates.

    I feel like him and I would get along really well under other circumstances. But with things as they were, I mumbled “Hi” or something, turned away to watch for the bus, realized he might also have been waiting for the bus, then ran away.

    There was just no winning move there except to not play.

    What’s kind of funny about this is, they have been creeping back into my life recently—reaching out to my friend, ostensibly about business-related matters. Him and I were fighting when shit went down with them, so I wonder if they know/remember the connection there.