I guess that’s my point. I agree with you. ASD make up a large portion of ND. I don’t personally like the ND identity even with an ADHD diagnosis (and have quite obvious symptoms when off my meds).
The reason I don’t like it is because if you use it as an identity, suddenly my experience needs to be accepted by everyone. I need the medicine to function in this society. To appear as a functioning adult. If I just said to people “Im neurodivergent” and expect them to handle my lengthy train of thought and wild imagination I would probably not have a job.
It isn’t race, ethnicity, a sexuality or gender - that is an identity that affects no one regardless of occupation or status except the individual. Neurodivergent disorders affect you, your family, your friends, your employer, your customers, your classmates, etc.
Ok, I see where you are coming from.
My challenge to your thinking is that a lie requires intent. My ex lied about cheating on me when I had the screenshot of her admitting it in my hands. I knew it was a lie, I had the evidence. She lied anyway because it made her feel better (actually she stated it because to her we “weren’t together anymore”).
The intent behind nuanced speech and carefully chosen words isn’t to deceive, it’s to help the other come to the conclusion on their own. A jarring direct statement causes emotional disregulation and clouds reasoning. Being direct all the time leads to the other party rejecting your statements even if they are undoubtedly true.