As someone that drew and doodled all the time until like 17 what really got in the way of making art was becoming an “adult”, getting a job, and having the life drained from me. School was a place where I always had paper and a pencil in front of me and I rarely had to pay attention to do well in class. I’ve felt like an empty husk for so long. I barely have energy to feed myself and doomscroll after work.

I also quickly became isolated and alienated after high school. Being without a community of people you love and that love you makes it so difficult to get into that vulnerable state where you can really express yourself. I’m finally starting to find community again after many years of drifting around listlessly. I started taking piano lessons a few years ago and from there got enough of a foundation in music to get over the hump of anxiety about playing with people.

Recently I stumbled my way into an amazing community of artists, musicians, and performers who have inspired me to create again. I found some friends who are also pretty new to music and we’re putting together a band and having a blast. I painted something for the first time in like 18 years. I’ve been drawing and writing when I can. After so many years that felt barren and devoid of life, this year (really just the past few months) have been so overwhelmingly packed with joy that I’ve been brought to tears multiple times.