Quick context, if you ask for directions in Seattle, people will gladly help, but you will see the terror in their eyes that they have to socialize with someone they don’t know.
If you want to start an argument without seeming like you are trying to, in Seattle, ask two different people what neighborhood you are currently in, and what its borders are.
Frellingford? Did not exist when I moved to Seattle originally, now it somehow does… sort of?
Ballard? Gets larger the older a person is, smaller the younger a person is.
Is it more racist to call it the International District, refer to the entire thing as China Town, or should we go block by block through different asian ethnicities based on street signage?
Don’t forget your socks and sandals, your SAD happy lamp, knowledge of Ezell’s lore, and oh right, drink your coffee at Starbucks even though you pretend to be anti-corpoate.
Finally: You must hit yourself in the head with a brick untill the knowledge of how to safely drive in the rain has left your mind.
Don’t increase your following distance, keep using bald tires, merge even more abrutly and erratically, and actually turn off your headlights that you normally have on full blast at all other times.
Bonus:
Complain about how the summers are too cloudy and cold, call I5 ‘the 5’, and act surprised when people already know you’re actually from California.
Next 10% is saying “I make $300k creating internal systems for streamlining data aggregation for business needs. Dang I love this city, it just needs another glass building- that theater/ historic landmark/ orphanage could totally be bulldozed”
PNW should be: acts nice, is scared
Quick context, if you ask for directions in Seattle, people will gladly help, but you will see the terror in their eyes that they have to socialize with someone they don’t know.
Truly the Finns of America.
If you want to start an argument without seeming like you are trying to, in Seattle, ask two different people what neighborhood you are currently in, and what its borders are.
Frellingford? Did not exist when I moved to Seattle originally, now it somehow does… sort of?
Ballard? Gets larger the older a person is, smaller the younger a person is.
Is it more racist to call it the International District, refer to the entire thing as China Town, or should we go block by block through different asian ethnicities based on street signage?
No lies detected (Seattle native here)
Damn, maybe I was secretly born in Seattle and smuggled to the other side of the country.
Better buy yourself a Subaru, a North face jacket, a climbing gym membership, and some weed and Zoloft.
Don’t forget your socks and sandals, your SAD happy lamp, knowledge of Ezell’s lore, and oh right, drink your coffee at Starbucks even though you pretend to be anti-corpoate.
Finally: You must hit yourself in the head with a brick untill the knowledge of how to safely drive in the rain has left your mind.
Don’t increase your following distance, keep using bald tires, merge even more abrutly and erratically, and actually turn off your headlights that you normally have on full blast at all other times.
Bonus:
Complain about how the summers are too cloudy and cold, call I5 ‘the 5’, and act surprised when people already know you’re actually from California.
90% is California transplant flags
Next 10% is saying “I make $300k creating internal systems for streamlining data aggregation for business needs. Dang I love this city, it just needs another glass building- that theater/ historic landmark/ orphanage could totally be bulldozed”
From the south, now in the PNW. Can confirm, I’ve probably accidentally scared the shit out of so many Seattlites just by being friendly
Person: “good afternoon!”
Seattleite: “haha I’m in danger”
I had a bartender tell me one time that to make friends with a Seattlite you probably need to randomly run into them 10ish times
Are you also frightened?