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Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM to The Internet in Ancient Times@lemmy.world · 6 months ago

I don't get it. I'm a nice guy, I eat well, I work out, but I can never get a date. All Zeus has to do is turn into a swan and the ladies are all over him.

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I don't get it. I'm a nice guy, I eat well, I work out, but I can never get a date. All Zeus has to do is turn into a swan and the ladies are all over him.

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Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM to The Internet in Ancient Times@lemmy.world · 6 months ago
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  • Cenotaph@mander.xyz
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    6 months ago

    Have you tried turning into a swan?

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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      6 months ago

      I could only manage an ugly duckling.

      • MelastSB@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        I’d fuck an ugly duckling. I’m a man though

  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
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    6 months ago

    Well, can YOU fly-by fuck girls? Checkmate

  • fern@lemmy.autism.placeBanned from community
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    6 months ago

    Removed by mod

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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      6 months ago

      None of those three look like they’re being raped to me.

      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        6 months ago

        Tbf, the one on the left is about to throw yarn at him, the one in the middle is kissing him, but we can’t see motion to get context, and the one on the right has a penis.

      • fern@lemmy.autism.placeBanned from community
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        6 months ago

        Removed by mod

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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          6 months ago

          🙄 Look at the image in the post.

          spoiler

          She’s kissing the swan and the other two ladies are into it. That’s the whole joke.

          • Agent641@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            One of them ladies has a nice dick.

            • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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              6 months ago

              I see you’re familiar with Greece.

          • fern@lemmy.autism.placeBanned from community
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            6 months ago

            Removed by mod

            • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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              6 months ago

              He’s getting smooched by the lady.

              • fern@lemmy.autism.placeBanned from community
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                6 months ago

                Removed by mod

                • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldOPM
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                  6 months ago

                  You do know what community you’re in, yes?

                  I’m sure you want to have a very serious discussion about rape and ancient Greek mythology, but this is not the place for it.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      No, don’t take notes!

  • Troubleinmind
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    6 months ago

    Stupid sexy Flanders swan

  • raynethackery@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I remember reading a fantasy book and there was a large pantheon of gods. These two characters were on a journey and they both worshipped this one god. One night, a goddess appeared to them for some reason to warn them about something but she didn’t reveal herself. Her very aura caused them to realize who she was and fall in love with her and promise to worship her forever. She told them she couldn’t accept their fealty because as soon as she left they would regret their decision. Now, of course I know Zeus isn’t real but I wonder if ancient people believed a god’s very presence could override reason.

    • superkret@feddit.org
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      6 months ago

      Greek gods could do what the fuck they wanted.
      And what they wanted to do was fuck.

The Internet in Ancient Times@lemmy.world

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Welcome to the stone age… or the bronze age… or the iron age… heck, anything with an ‘age’ is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

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Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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