• FiveMacs@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    It’s a fair question. ‘do you want help, or do you just want to vent?’

    • cRazi_man@lemm.ee
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      3 days ago

      People in the emotional stage will not appreciate the question. It’s best to presume they’re in the “emotional stage” every time. Someone who wants solutions will let you know anyway soon. Someone emotional rarely has the rationality to explain this.

      • Longpork3@lemmy.nz
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        3 days ago

        Luckily my wife has now acknowledged that my inner nerd/engineer will immediately jump to solutions and will preface the conversation with “i just need to vent” in those situations.

          • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
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            2 days ago

            The one person you can change is yourself.* Why not try vent before solutions?

            *(Kinda. You’re trying to change your wife and here I am encouraging you to try a new way.)

      • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        Probably right, but boy for those of us that are very solution oriented and not great with emotions, it is hard to hold back. Personally, if I was the Schwarma destroyer, I would like a question like this to feel me out on, but I think you are right. It would likely piss most people off.

      • thirteene@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        And anyone setting up the joke “sorry I falafel for you” is going to pretend they were in the emotional stage and then go look for new friends.

      • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nz
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        3 days ago

        Drag is often solution oriented and often in the feelings stage, and perfectly happy to admit when drag just wants to be held and allowed to cry.

    • FoxyFerengi@lemm.ee
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      3 days ago

      My friends and I have all started doing this, because we immediately jump to trying to fix each other’s problems, and half the time we’re just needing to be heard lol

    • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      For me the answer has been the second one… about ten times in my life, I think 🤔

      Edit: they were probably all times a situation seemed somewhat unsolvable, so I suppose I would’ve been “here to vent“ but I don’t believe I’ve ever been in “please, offer no suggestions“ mode?

  • Troy@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    Points for being transparent. But if in the latter stage, it won’t be appreciated yet :)