Hi my fellow Lemmy users! It’s been a while since I used this platform and boy did I actually miss you all ❤️
It’s just that I’ve been more so focusing on myself in my career and in my own education. So I graduated back in June and man it sure does feel like a lifetime ago already. Settled in a good paying job and still trying to improve myself wherever I can.
This brings us to the question that I wanted to ask everyone here. As I’ve been very focused on academics and career stuff I never had the opportunity to date and I’ve been rejected very frequently (which is to be expected as a man tbh). I haven’t been able to lose weight and that I’m 25 years old.
I know that’s still pretty young but I still feel so behind on dating tbh. Is it still too late for me to find someone I want to be with after I’ve lost weight? Does losing weight help for men as it does for women? I’ve been trying to join meetups, volunteering (just to meet new people tbh) and really put myself out there. It’s just idk like all my friends are committed and I’m just floating around life whilst focusing on my career.
I haven’t been able to lose weight
You need to be honest with yourself here, everyone is able to lose weight (except a very small minority of people with severe mental and or health issues) and what you really mean to say is “I have not committed to losing weight”.
There is a huge difference between wanting a fit and healthy body and actually committing long term to the idea of consistently smaller portions.
And that is all it takes. You do not need to swap every meal for a shitty salad, you do not need need to run ten miles a day, you do not need to make weight loss your number one priority, you do not need the mental strength of the world’s strongest man, you do not need more time in the day or any other of the 101 excuses that overweight people use.
If you consume less calories than you burn, then you can lose weight on a diet of pizza and sitting on the couch all day.
I know what I’ve said here will come across as harsh, but it’s all absolutely true and I hope that you lose your unwanted weight, it really will help your dating prospects and it will make you feel better about yourself too!
Amen to this. OP if you focused on career and income by this point maybe you have some spare money to use on a personal fitness coach. They will help guide and motivate you which long term should help with all manner of issues you might be dealing with, from mental to health. Good luck. You can do it!
I second this. Getting a source of external motivation like a coach is great for achieving a goal like this. Especially as they would no doubt have techniques to make the journey easier.
While what you said is technically true, it’s not good advice. The standard advice of 'eat less, exercise more, and it’s your own fault if you don’t get results" sets up most people for failure. In fact, that’s exactly why it’s bad advice - OP has most certainly seen it and attempted it, and it’s not working for them.
Everyone is different, and responds differently. OP needs to examine what they’ve tried and why it’s not working for them. For many people, myself included, sugar acts as a drug. The only answer is to eliminate it from your diet, AKA low-carb (keto, Atkins) diets. Other people are stress eaters who need to develop coping mechanisms. Still others are bored eaters, or people who succumb easily to temptation.
Telling any of these people to just eat less is the one thing guaranteed to fail.
Occam’s razor.
You can complicate the concepts of weight gain and loss all you like, it always boils down to calories in Vs calories out.
You’ll show me 99 people that have several excuses about why they in particular can’t lose weight and I’ll only be able to show you one that holds their hands up and says “I admit it, I’m weak and I’d rather have cake now than a nice body a few months later”.
Losing weight is like stopping smoking, it’s all conjecture and day dreams until one day you say “fuck this, I’m changing and sticking with it STARTING NOW”.
Some people need tough love, not more readymade excuses.
It sounds like you’ve never struggled with weight loss, and for that I congratulate you. I couldn’t manage until I learned to avoid carbs.
Yes, the end result is still fewer calories. But this approach made it a whole lot easier for me, since it reduced my hunger.
I disagree. More people need the education around weight loss. Too many people think you can outwork a bad diet in the gym and it is simply and entirely untrue.
You lose weight in the kitchen and you tone your body/build muscle in the gym.
It is worth repeating because many people honestly do not understand it.
Eat less food to lose weight. Go to the gym to get stronger.