But the bird will go TO HELL

A link to an article isn’t a meme.

The Goon Lord

Who, pray tell, is suggesting birds be punished for it?

I’ll just cross bird masturbation off my list of world problems then. Let’s see… here it is on page 1129.

Masturbation among birds is ‘natural’ and should not be punished. It’s interesting how humanity has regulated its own biological behavior, we have rules for where and how to eat, sleep, defecate, urinate, menstruate, reproduce, masturbate, etc. I get that some of these came from hygiene and personal safety but still find it weird, and even weirder that some people expect birds to follow our social constructs.

I guess I’ll have to stop choking my chicken, then.

An investigation into acts of self-pleasure among parrots and other birds has reached a climax, with the results providing welcome relief for vets and researchers, not to mention the birds themselves.

… TIL people were punishing their fucking birds for whacking it.

I’ve seen a cockatoo once who would go crazy for one of his owner’s old slippers, courting and then fucking it. The most the owner did was to buy herself a new pair of slippers, and leave the old one so the bird could have his fun.

I guess the idea of punishing him never went through her mind. Or mine, really; c’mon, birds don’t understand decorum, and the whole thing was hilarious and obviously harmless to the bird.

My parakeet was fucking a swing perch in his cage. It was hanging perpendicular to another perch, so he would grab the swings from the side and go on his rodeo.
But personality was important to him, so every 15 seconds he would run to another “floor” where he had a mirror, say his version of “oh baby yeah it feels so good, call me your bird!” and then would run back upstairs to continue

“Vets shouldn’t be advising owners to stop birds doing this unless it’s obviously caused a chronic problem like a prolapse, but that’s the absolute minority of cases,”