- cross-posted to:
- dankchristianmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
- cross-posted to:
- dankchristianmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
If Jesus were here now I’d be desperately trying to lick his washboard carpenter abs

No no. Top right panel is 100% correct and top left desperately needs to hear it.
Jesus could be here now and he would be seen as a conspiracy theorist.
Could be David Icke for all we know. But doesn’t matter does it…
Pretty much any famous person from the past wouldn’t matter one bit if they lived today.
Maybe someone like Luther King, someone super charismatic could create change. People tend to follow these characters. We could use someone like that against datacenters…
Jesus was pro-choice, though, there is a verse in the bible giving instructions on abortion (via beatings).
That’s nah that’s some Old Testament stuff. Jesus specifically calls for the ending of old Jewish traditions. Thats why Jews don’t hold him in high regard. Most traditions of the Old Testament Jesus would have told people to do something else.
On the topic of the op Jesus would have been a straight socialist. He believed in giving to the state what belonged to the state but also believed that the rich had an obligation of helping the poor.
Just shut the fuck up already
Are you sure you’re not thinking of the dirt of the tabernacle ritual?
I was misremembering, it was Poison. Unless there are multiple entries about this. LINK HERE
Honestly it isn’t like a lot of us care other than pointing out the insane levels of hypocrisy the right engage in while claiming to love Jesus.
In the words of grandson, “Jesus was a 5’4” brown-skinned socialist, nothing like the man on that crucifix"

“Faker than blue eyed crackers nailed to a crucifix” - immortal technique (lol)
Considering that the majority of vocal Christians vote Republican, Jesus being very explicitly leftist presents an opportunity to nudge them left. It certainly won’t convince all of them, but there are those who actually value their prophet more than their politicians.
Anyone who cares about diminishing the Republican stranglehold on America should care that Jesus was a leftist, even if they didn’t personally care about Jesus.
The fact that weʻve seen a few MAGA pastors openly say stuff like “Well, Jesusʻ teachings were more applicable in the first century and we have to adapt now” is proof enough that itʻs not Jesus they believe in. I want to see this pushed more and more to get them to finally admit that theyʻre not actually Christians, but are actually like Cartman in the South Park episode where he starts a Christian band (“You donʻt know the first thing about Christianity!” “I know enough to exploit it.”)
I’m not one to wear tin foil hats, but I think if I wanted to obliterate a society, I’d focus on the family.
Not really. Pastors are being pushed out for being too woke and replaced by a more right wing figure. The congregation gets what the congregation wants. They’ve gone supply-side Jesus.
You gotta remember, despite everything we say, everything we’ve written, the laws in place, the rapidly growing atheism, the US is a theocracy first and foremost. The religion is just as important as the economy, employment rate, or the opinions of the ruling class.
A theocracy that only believes in Supply Side Jesus and ignores the real teachings of Jesus. The GOP would look a lot different if their religion wasn’t just a tool to manipulate their Christian base.
The only thing that has really kept religion in check in this country is, ironically, their enmity toward each other due, ostensibly, to differences in eschatology. That has melted away as they have come to the realization that they are in danger of becoming irrelevant. Fortunately, the laity is extremely stupid and easy to manipulate (religion will do that to you) and have no idea what they really believe or what the differences are, so they are being led as if they are more monolithic by focusing their worship on what they all agree they love: money. They are also too stupid to realize that this is ironic.
Yeah. I am Chicano but identify more with my indigenous side and am friends with plenty of Native Americans. I’ve always personally blamed Judeo-Christian thinking. The whole manifest destiny mindset is insane.
I mean read just a piece of how different things were before those religions came to this land.
A second, related factor was the absence of large domestic animals in North America, which meant that instead of the ‘intensive’, ploughing-and-manuring agriculture practised in Europe, Native American farmers used ‘extensive’ techniques, cultivating an area for a few years and then moving on to let the soil recover. Most groups - hunters and plant-gatherers as well as agriculturists - viewed land as a common resource rather than a commodity that could be owned. Tribes and families had the right to hunt, fish or grow crops in defined places, but the concept of a fenced-off parcel of land being the exclusive property of an individual would have been utterly alien to most, if not all, Native Americans. The Indian attitude towards land was part of a broader, more fundamental understanding of reality which underpinned the whole of native life. Although, again, there were enormous local variations in mythology and ritual, some of the essentials of this world-view were shared by many, if not most, cultures. Perhaps the most basic element was the belief in sacred power: the idea that everything in the universe was interconnected and possessed a spiritual force or energy that could affect the lives of ‘the people’ and of all other living things. Gaining power and the aid of powerful beings was absolutely vital: for success in hunting, plentiful crops, good health, thriving children and victory in battle. But power was also dangerous.
Source: Chapter 2 of The Earth Shall Weep by James Wilson.
So weird for one of the world’s youngest nations to hijack one of the world’s youngest religions from a place they so frequently fear, hate, and bomb.
They really are just the plebeians of an empirical nation that never quite got to empirical level, unless your factor corporatisation of the society.
And they accuse the English of not speaking English…
I think they took their religion from europe. As a starting point.
The only reason the world cares about the US is because we’re stupid and dangerous.
And so fucking loud
Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me… me
Like a chimp with a shotgun. Does it know what it’s doing? Absolutely not. Will it kill people? Most certainly.
The U.S. reminds me of when I worked retail and a mentally unstable customer would come in and start getting loud and knocking things off the shelf and acting entitled and asking for discounts and special treatment.
I wonder if people realize that lots of things are intrusive and annoying
Mostly religion, though.
Have you welcomed Linux into your life as our Lord and Savior?
Jesus never used toilet paper.
The culture war was designed to keep us fighting amongst ourselves while the rich techno fascist pedo freaks continue to steal everything that isn’t nailed down.











