Also don’t forget the monthly fee
Don’t forget you will need to prove your identity by uploading your driving licence before you can download the app.
My friend has a toilet that has its own remote control. There’s no flush handle. It’s the dumbest thing on earth.
“It’s not that bad, you just need to listen to 3 un-skippable 3 minute ads, then you can flush”
I’m upvoting your comment because as an owner of several corporations, I think you’ve got a great idea!
This dystopian hell hole is already here. I present the Sloped Toilet to prevent workers from getting a few extra minutes.
I don’t need to be sitting for those extra minutes.
Sounds fragile
A simple poke with a sledgehammer could break it. Just a piece of shit, really.
That’s a ADA lawsuit waiting to happen.
As someone that has to download an app made by an Israeli firm just to open the gate to my underground parking lot, this is already a dystopian reality. Of course the app asks for all your data, so my name on it is Mr. Free Palestine.
Israel “merdaverse@lemmy.zip is now Hamas and has an underground Hamas compound at their location.”
Surge flushing is real.
Automatic DNA tests on whatever you “deposit” into the “specimen chamber” and results sold to the insurance companies so they can increase your rates of drop your coverage coincidentally before you see an actual diagnosed.
Your butt told on you for pre crime… Minority Repoopt
Nobody has any business with my rates of drop
With a medium cost monthly subscription of course
Just dump a bucket of water in afterwards.
Make sure you enable developer mode before attempting to sideload water into the toilet!
invest in some drill bits/hole saws rated for porcelain, and you can modify that shit off
And the app requires a non-jailbroken Apple or Android with strong play integrity plus photos of your face, your ID, and your shit to flush.
I’m normally a calm person. But this makes my blood boil.
you need an app for that to assist you
And turn off DNS ad block and watch 3 unskippable ads to get an extra toilet paper. Wanna watch less ads? Agree to our use-your-excrement-to-train-ai and sell-your-data-to-our-10000-partners and you-can’t-sue-us-over-data-breach EULA to watch one our AI-generated personalized ad instead
Remember when “drink verification can” was a funny absurd scenario and not something that seems like it could happen any day now?
Upgrade to our master flusher package, which offers 30 flushes per week…
And then they will sell that data to health insurance
Next up, LG to begin toilet manufacturing so they can store a record or your turds in plaintext.
Pretty soon we’ll have AI toilets for some reason. They’ll be able to send push notifications to your phone. I imagine a future where your toilet is hungry because you went on vacation and needs you to shit in it so bad.
“Feed me, daddy.”
$5.99 a month.
Double flush for only $10.00!
$19.99 a month for Unlimited flushes!
*Unlimited flushes are limited to 200 flushes, after that the flushing and tank refill rate are reduced to the 10% of the normal rate.
For unlimited unlimited flushes upgrade now to the Unlimited+ for $59.99 per month, subscription of one year required, penalty of 200% of the remaining year if cancelled.
**Unlimited+ does not include ad removal, user still has to watch a 30 seconds ad. Ad removal sold separately.
plus all the data flows over their own server, therefore has 3 seconds latency, sometimes doesn’t work at all, and they retire the server after 5 years.
A higher tier gets you 5 unclogs a month and reduced ads!
