• iheartneopets@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I mean, why expect people to acknowledge something that they didn’t request or need? Like, if they’re holding an armfull of stuff, you help them with the door, and they don’t acknowledge your help then yeah, you have a case. However, if they’re just minding their business and you randomly open the door for them, then I think you’re kinda being unreasonable to expect some kind of appreciation from someone when you don’t know what their situation is.

    Like, do you really expect some kind of report card on how good a boy/girl you were for holding open a door for some rando who might, for all you know, have a family member in the hospital, or be struggling to afford their bills, etc etc. If so, that lowkey makes you the Nice Guy asshole, expecting extra emotional labor from that person who really didn’t ask for or even want that interaction with you.

    • gueybana [any]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      Obviously, people are allowed to be preoccuppied with serious personal problems and it’s not fair to blow something like this out of proportion but at the same time,

      Like, do you really expect some kind of report card on how good a boy/girl you were for holding open a door for some rando who might, for all you know, have a family member in the hospital, or be struggling to afford their bills, etc etc. If so, that lowkey makes you the Nice Guy asshole, expecting extra emotional labor from that person who really didn’t ask for or even want that interaction with you.

      Nah, I’m not getting into this nice guy debate about emotional labor, way too much abstraction over unproblematic common courtesy. I never said I was some paragon of virtue, I’m just a regular dude practicing social norms I’ve been taught and maybe trying to make both our days just a little bit better.

      • iheartneopets@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        I mean, whether or not you wanna get into/acknowledge it is your choice, but that doesn’t change the fact that that’s what people feel when they don’t feel up to giving you feedback for doing something they didn’t ask for 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • Egon [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      Like, do you really expect some kind of report card on how good a boy/girl you were for holding open a door.

      Yeah that’s a totally fair representation of what the other person was arguing, lmao. Expecting some acknowledgement for doing a small gesture for others isn’t the same as wanting a report card validating your moral character.

      If so, that lowkey makes you the Nice Guy asshole, expecting extra emotional labor from that person who really didn’t ask for or even want that interaction with you.

      My god, the amount of assumptions and negativity you’re projecting onto the other user here is impressive.