I say “bum” and my wife says “boob”
Interested to hear what you think.
Onomatopoeia usually punch above their weight class here. Shlorp gets my vote.
Have you ever used Shlorp as a verb? I feel it paints a particular picture
Yes, almost exclusively in the context of dogs shlorping up water from their bowl.
Shlorp
Shlorp
Shlorp
Shlorp
Shlorp
*gets water all over the floor, again…
Peef.
It’s when you fart out of your dick hole. A “Penis Queef”, if you will. Happened to me once when I had a cystoscopy. Weirdest feeling ever.
What the fuuuuuuck. How do you delete someone else’s post?
It wasn’t fun for me either
I am sorry. I didn’t mean to be flippant. I had no idea that was a thing and reacted in the moment. Are you ok? Is your penis ok? Can you teach me your ways, senpai?
Yeah I’m good. I guess there’s an over developed muscle in my bladder that caused pain and blood in my urine. Totally benign.
The tube in my pee hole? Weirdest feeling of my life
Ok, I’ve had many catheters inserted into my penis, I’ve just never had an expulsion of air. Usually getting it put in wasn’t a big deal, as I was always incoherent or unconscious, but getting it taken out was cathartic and unpleasant.
This goes beyond a catheter. The camera goes all the way deep into the bladder.
I said something irredeemably stupid as it’s clear I didn’t actually read the last sentence of your original post. I apologize for wasting your time. That said, do you have any pictures?
I learned a new thing today, thank you!
Does it sound like peef too? How many decibels do you think you could crank one out to?
It sounded like a silent but deadly fart. Like a PFFFFT.
Bjork!
I know it’s not a word, but a name… still if you use it with ! I think it’s particularly funny. Like it’s an exclamation, or a warning.
Bjork is my goto nonsense muppet sound. Bjork bjork bjork Bjork!
Icelandic dogs:
You know Björk in swedish is a tree
It’s birch.
- Mom! Look! This frog says my name every time I press down on its belly!
- Leave the poor animal alone, Björk!
Isn’t it two syllables
It’s pronounced as one syllable in the Nordic languages
I’ve been saying it wrong for DECADES 😭
B-york – never thouht of saying it that way
Yes, and you have to say it while sucking in air, not breathing out.
Holy shit that makes it 10x funnier!
I tip my cap to you, PrayerWaxpaint
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Smeg
I expect this requires no explanation. You lemmings already know.
Oh, we accepting abbreviations now to fit one syllable? This is cheating, I’m calling the police
Smeg is actually a well known appliance brand
Yes, but before I learned that, I saw a video with someone standing in front of a SMEG refrigerator and was impressed by the great lengths they’d gone to to express their fondness of Red Dwarf.
You lemmings know even more about smeg than I thought!
I know one more thing about it, but the (definitely singular) author of the original Red Dwarf disavowed any association so I shouldn’t mention it.
Now you have to tell us, in accordance with space corps directive 1742.
I was looking this up on DDG to provide you with a satisfactory answer, but then I learned that I didn’t want to do any more searching on the topic.
Mildly gross stuff below. I don’t think it’s too much, but don’t want to overwhelm anyone’s sensibilities since it does involve genitalia. I’m not sure how to do spoilers on my phone but will update my post later after opening this on my desktop.
spoiler
Fans theorized that “smeg,” a word used as a replacement for cursing in Red Dwarf, was short for “smegma,” a real word related to discharge under the foreskin of uncircumcised men. (The authors of Red Dwarf denied this.) (One of the things I learned in the aforementioned search is that the discharge can exist for both men and women and does not require a lack of circumcision.) The discharge is natural and facilitates intercourse, but can be described as gross due to its “thick, cheese-like” appearance (a quote from my memory that I’m not even going to try to validate because I’m not searching for anything close to a combination of the words I’m using in this summary). I believe the text is also the content of an official card in Cards Against Humanity.
There is a Wikipedia entry on the topic. It has some explicit photos. I won’t link it because I’m still not sure how link previews work in various clients, but it is a very short search away.
edit: I appreciate the (I think?) reference to Rimmer’s affectations. edit 2: Copied spoiler markdown from another post I made. Hope it works. It’s really not that bad, but I don’t want to upset or surprise anyone.
Now you have to tell us, in accordance with space corps directive 1742.
Under no circumstances can wild badgers be trained in professional juggling without the written authorization of 2 or more flag officers?
Heeeeeead
That’s an appliance company here.
This seven-cheese pizza calls for “Richard’s cheese?” Did I get that right?
This is how I abbreviate avocado smash & eggs. Mostly with two g’s, but still.
It is a versatile word
MA!
The only person that could turn a three letter word into three syllables
Schmutz.
It’s Yiddish (?) and is a general term for unspecified dirt or filth. The fun part: once you have identified the filth, it is no longer schmutz.
My spouse and I picked it up from the Says You radio show years ago, and have used it ever since.
It’s literally the translation of dirt or filth in German.
Its US usage comes mostly from Yiddish, but fun story: I studied for two years in Germany after taking one semester of German (would not recommend, but it worked out), and on my first day, I told my housemate that she had some schmutz on her nose, and she was so excited about the German progress I had already made… I did not know at that time that Schmutz was dirt, but I’ve always remembered it
Another great one syllable Yiddish word is Schmuck
Yiddish has like 200+ words for penis, and zero for vagina. they were also used to describe personality types. a schmuck is a general dick. a schmuckgagle is a giant dick. a schmuckus is a baby dick. etc.
I don’t know Yiddish, but it’s got some good words. I feel like Hutzpah is one that I hear from time to time
Chutzpah is great! There are tons of great Yiddish words. Some of my favorites are schvitz (to sweat; alternatively a sauna), schlep ([traveling] an annoying distance), mischigas (nonsense or nutty behavior, or kinda similar to a clusterfuck), noodge (kinda like a pest, but said with some affection), zaftig (pleasingly plump, like Christina Hendricks), and kvell (to be really happy/proud, opposite of kvetch).
So it’s a name for a thing that doesn’t actually exist?
No, more like “hey you’ve got some schmutz on your shirt.” I don’t know what it is (might be crumbs or maybe lint) but it’s definitely there.
Without wanting to ruffle anyone’s feathers, I will submit queef, which would be worth a chuckle even if it held no meaning
It’s funny that quaff is spelled similarly, but has a completely different vibe to it. The two don’t mix at all.
Well, unless you’re into quaffing queefs, I’m not here to judge.
Once I quaffed a queef, inhaled a clunge that had beefed, I just belched for relief and resumed the great feat
This is art! Bravo!
I only really come here to say such things. Megustalations
I also choose this guy’s wife’s “boob”.
Excellent reference
BOINK
The sound of scientific progress, and something much more fun too!
I was watching a Batman/Superman animated movie and Harley Quinn was using a pogo stick, she kept saying BOING when she hit the ground.
“womp”
but usually funnier when used as a pair
Makes me think of a sad trombone. Whomp-whomp
Wah-wah-wah has a similar energy
Yeet is fun to say when throwing something.
I love yeet, it’s just so fun to say!
You two are wild
Moist.
Beat me to it!
My wife hates this word, so of course I’ve weaponized it. Isn’t that what true love is all about?
However you spell that noise Guinea pigs make.
WHEEEK
It’s like letting the air out of a balloon. Fascinating!
Cuy
GWEEK
Funt. Looks horrendously rude, resembles two terrible English words, but is completely without meaning in and of itself. Unless you let UrbanDictionary tell you that it’s the combination of those two words anyway.
It’s also the noise things make when launched out of a tube by compressed air, if not the noise made by lighting gases in a test tube, both of which are highly entertaining.
The spelling “phoont” may be preferable.
I know exactly what you mean with the air-tube. In video games it’s the stock grenade launcher sound effect.
I spell it “fwump.” It’s funny that we’re probably thinking of the exact same sound and have different ways to express it
